Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Different types .......

I'm looking into the wide variety of men who choose to have an affair, an illicit encounter, a fling, a one night stand, and their reasons for doing so. Its impossible to pigeon-hole people, but in my experience it seems they all (in some shape or form) fall into one of three categories.

I wonder which you are :)

  1. Mr Womaniser - the man who has been doing this for years, he's had countless affairs, flings, one night stands, call them what you like, while he was 'courting' his wife, and since the wedding. Its a natural thing for him. He adamantly believes that monogamy is an unnatural state and men are meant to spread their seed. His wife is oblivious because the lifestyle he has created for her has blinded her rationality. He is usually debonair, charming, attractive, smart, intelligent and witty. He knows what he has and knows how to use it and has been using it, over and over, since the day he hit puberty. No one on the earth would ever stop him doing what he does best, and he loves every minute of it. Explaining that his wife doesn't understand him he rushes headlong into as many encounters as he can, and loves every minute.
  2. Mr My First Time - the man who is new to this, has never had an affair before, but has reached a point in his life where he needs to feel wanted. He's been tempted at work but that has scared him, especially when he watched Fatal Attraction. He has thought about it for months, even years, and now, thanks to modern technology, he can move forward on his plan. He wants one lover, only one, and is nervous and terrified about the prospect. Chances are he chats to quite a few and loses his nerve at the last minute before meeting, so it takes him quite a while to take the first step. When eventually he does he goes into the relationship just as he did with his wife, a real romance, considerate, caring, kind, gentle, truly 'wooing' the lady in the full sense of the word. He doesn't want his mistress to meet any other men, and in fact she is a second wife rather than a mistress.
  3. Mr In Denial - He's married, and has been for years, but he swears he is 'separated'. His wife doesn't understand him, they haven't slept together for years (but does that mean separate beds or no sex?), they lead separate lives, she doesn't care what he does, they have an open marriage, etc etc. Its all 'acceptable' in his mind because he's convinced himself he's only married on paper. If asked why he hasn't left he would always have an excuse - waiting for the kids to grow up, waiting till after the annual holiday, waiting till after Christmas, waiting till his parents pass away, etc etc. Although he would never leave, he convinces himself, and his mistress, that one day he will, and life will be so perfect.

It is quite an interesting subject when you look into it. Admittedly we can't categorise everyone out there, but it is amazing how, after years of dating married men, they do fall naturally into one of them.

Which category are you?