Monday, 16 March 2009


Men marry a woman and hope she never changes, and she does.

Women marry a man and hope he will change, and he doesn't.


I read the article by Simon Jones in the Times yesterday and part of me felt incredibly sorry for his wife, but another part agreed with him, and he was echoing what I'd already said a few weeks ago.

Admittedly I was talking generally, and not about a specific person in my life, so for that reason my heart goes out to her, but, apart from sounding a little pompous, selfish and arrogant, he has a fair point.

I hear it so often from men - 'my wife doesn't understand me', 'my wife went off sex when she had the baby', 'my wife stopped paying attention to me years ago', 'I just miss the cuddles' 'she's not the woman she was' etc etc, and that got me thinking, if she hadn't changed so dramatically would they still be looking for additional fun? Does a woman changing from a sex kitten to a sloth make their behaviour a little more acceptable? Or would they be doing it anyway?

I've accepted the married man into my life, and love it, because I am still the sex kitten (maybe a sex cat now), I still make the effort in every way, and their appreciation is shown on many levels, but I wonder if I settled down with a single man I would end up in 'scruffs' and get comfy. That could be why I am happy being the serial mistress because I love making that effort, for someone who, firstly, notices and, secondly, appreciates it.

I have said before that married women need to make more effort, but if she ends up boring, frumpy and unfit, shouldn't the right man accept that and love her in spite of it? Or will some men always be looking over her shoulder for the next challenge, conquest or hole?