Zen Teachings.....
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. No one is listening until you fart. Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Some days yo...