Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Date 2/7

Name: Ethan
Age: 40
Job: Police Officer
Marital Status: Separated
Venue: Coffee Shop

My god he's delicious!!! Unbelievably delicious!!! I could have eaten him up, there and then! His pictures hadn't done him justice at all. It was almost as if I'd seen a silhouette but not the complete person, an outline version of the man rather than the coloured in version, but once the smile spread across his gorgeous face, and his piercing blue eyes sparkled for the first time, he came to life. He was better than I could have hoped for, and it made me realise the phrase 'One woman's trash is another's treasure' is absolutely true. He split from his wife just over two months ago. They both decided it wasn't working and he hadn't been happy for ten years. I have to admit this is the only reservation I have. Some men split and hate being alone so much they replace their partner with someone who makes them feel safe and secure again. Some split and replace her with the exact opposite, the anti-wife, just to see if that works and was what was wrong all along, and some split then spread their wild oats, screwing everything and anything showing interest. So far I haven't worked out which he is, and obviously a few more dates will help me figure it out, but I think I'll have to be incredibly reserved with this one, and keep my emotions under control. I have a feeling it could get carried away very quickly for both of us.

This is a whole new dating experience for me too, and most of you will laugh when I say this, but he doesn't own a mobile phone!! He is the only person I know who doesn't have one. My ten year old godson has one. My 82 year old mother has one. Everyone in between has one. So its a totally new experience not relying on text messages to do my talking. I got stuck behind a very slow moving tractor on my way to our date, but had the uncomfortable problem of not being able to tell him I was going to be late. I nearly broke my neck, and my car, to get to him as quickly as possible so he didn't think I'd stood him up, but it made me realise that with this guy I might actually have to get off my arse and be early for once in my life, and that's not a bad thing! I was also amazed at how relaxed I was about not hearing from him immediately after the date. Normally I get a text to say 'Thanks for a great time, can't wait to see you again' etc. I'm incredibly polite too, and always say 'Thank you for dinner/drinks/the movie' etc. because my mum always taught me to say my thank you's! But on this occasion I couldn't. He had to go home to catch up on his sleep because he was in the middle of his two night shifts, so I didn't expect to hear anything from him, especially as he looked so shattered, but I guess that was partly my fault. I'd kept him up till 6am a couple of nights earlier, and he'd only had about three hours sleep in the space of 36. So I willingly let him head home after six espressos and three hours of my company.

He was fabulous though, and just how I love my men. I suppose this experiment is helping me establish what my 'type' is and I've figured I have two. Outside those two I simply can't seem to find anything that works for me. Type number 1. seems to be the business man. Suited and booted, highly intelligent, lots of responsibility, suave, sophisticated, charming, who knows how to treat a lady properly. Type number 2. is my Action Man. Tall, rugged, manly, with a heroic, manly job, good morals, strong arms, a broad chest, the sort of guy who would ride in on a white charger and rescue the damsel in distress. He may not be as sophisticated as number 1 but he makes the girl feel safe and secure, well and truly protected.

Sometimes when I look at my types I realise number 2 is actually what I'm looking for but they are very rare. It's a very fine line between Action Man and Neanderthal Man, skimming the shagpile with his knuckles and grunting. It's a fine balance of testosterone between gentlemanly and cavemanly. But this time I have found the former, completely. He's ex-forces, a sergeant major no less, and I can just imagine him shouting at his troops and being a true leader in combat. He has retired from the army and is now a police officer, upholding the law and cleaning our dangerous streets of druggies and criminals, to make it safer for women to go out at night. Swoon!!! What a hero!! He's done his bit for the country abroad and now he's doing his bit at home. Two uniforms in two jobs, which apparently he still has! Throw in a play fireman's uniform and I may just wet my pants while I write this!

The lovely thing is, besides being manly, heroic and in a uniform, he's a genuinely nice bloke! I hate that word. It's so non-descriptive. It doesn't say anything about a person apart from 'I'd trust him to look after my goldfish if I went on holiday', there are a million more adjectives I would use to describe him but these days, especially on the Internet, there don't seem to be many nice people around. He's polite, he's easy going, funny, clever, sweet, kind, considerate, affectionate, tactile, he seems honest so far, which in my line of work is a true rarity, and he has a stack of morals that any man would struggle to peer over. He loves his daughter and spends a lot of time with her, especially since he left his wife. He's sweet and kind to total strangers, he opens doors for women. He won't let the lady pay, not even for a coffee on the first date. And to top all these fantastic things - he's a truly great kisser!!

What are the downsides I can hear you cry? No one is perfect! And you're right, no one ever is. He's above my usual height requirement by two inches, but I don't know whether it was the six inch heels I was wearing, or the fact that everything was just right, but I didn't feel dwarfed by him. He didn't crack any 'small' jokes, which is rare for a giant. He didn't appear condescending or patronising and never once spoke to me like a child, so I hardly noticed the 14 inch height difference. The only other negative point - he smokes, but he only smoked two in the three hours we were together. He made sure he stood down wind of me, purposely considering where I was and positioning himself where the smoke wouldn't affect me at all, he didn't smell like an old ashtray, and I didn't notice anything when he kissed me, so I can't see it becoming a problem. He's certainly not a 40 a day kinda guy, and the odd one I could probably cope with.

So, as tick boxes go, well I've pretty much scored a full house with this one, and couldn't be happier. I can be a little more chilled out with the phone situation, he lives about ten minutes away, he's not looking for marriage and babies, so I can let my guard down about him being a single man, and he doesn't do one night stands, so I can relax about potentially being used. I'm not going to count any chickens, even though it is Spring, but I am going to say I'm very pleasantly surprised after this particular date.

So as future dates go, I'd simply say watch this space.......