Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Phone numbers....

Am I the only one who deletes phone numbers when they are either:-

a. no longer needed because we tried it, it didn't work and it is over and done with,
b. no longer needed because he was a cock before we even got chance to meet,
c. there was nothing to be over and done with, cos we swapped numbers but never got any further than one text, because we got distracted elsewhere, and now I can't remember who he is! :)

Either way, I delete the number because my phone would be full of random names, I wouldn't be able to keep track, and I'd take too long scrolling past them when I have a cool joke to send to someone I actually know and like :)

Anyway, the reason I ask is because the season of goodwill has been upon us once again, and the time to wish everyone in your phone a merry Christmas, and a happy new year, has arrived. Of course the fact that practically everyone is drunk late at night doesn't help matters.

In the past 2 weeks I have received 18 Merry Christmas/Happy New Year texts and five late night calls to say 'Hi, how are you and where did we go wrong?', not to mention the 'Oops sorry, I meant to call my sister Karen - who are you?' Classic!!!

So why have these people even kept my number? I'm clearly not interested. I'm clearly not planning on calling them, and we're clearly never going to get together. Is it a difference in the sexes? The girls automatically 'Tidy up' to avoid confusion, accidental drunken text messages, or to ensure our phonebook is kept to an efficient, manageable size? Yet the men have endless random names and numbers in their phones, just in case their mates ever look, they have 500 entries to make them look popular. If it was a non-electronic version it would resemble an obscenely bulging Little Black Book, and apparently knowing five Karens, 17 Traceys, 11 Susans and a Jessica means they are a 'stud'! :)

It's bizarre. I have never sent a text message to my entire phonebook by mistake, because I have business numbers in it, and I am careful! I wouldn't dream of sending a rude message to everyone because my ex husband and my family are in my phone. Also I have never mistakenly rung someone at 2am in a drunken mess because chances are I'd call a married man's number and cause havoc, or worse, a divorce! Or possibly call my mother and send her into a tailspin wondering who has died because 'No one calls at that time of night unless it's bad news!'

I have rambled on about phone numbers before, but that was the idiotic, thoughtless use of my number from someone I was seeing at the time, but when men I have never met are calling or texting over a year after we exchanged numbers, it just feels wrong!

Maybe someone can enlighten me. Is it, like I mentioned, a difference with the sexes? Do men keep numbers as trophies and women want to delete the unnecessary from their lives? Is it just me - am I overly keen to tidy up and delete superfluous numbers? Or am I so irresistible and unforgettable that men keep my number in the hope they may, one day, need to resurrect what never happened?

Anyway, to all the people out there nursing my number and reading this, don't call me when you're drunk, or text me something random or rude at 2am, cos I may well store your number and do the same to you some day!!! :-)


Where have you done it? ....

I've just received a book I ordered, about Sex in public places, and it sparked a conversation with my current 'potential' as to where we have been naughty. It started quite innocently, but suddenly all the mental pictures of where I had 'done it' came flooding back. It made me curious where my fans and followers had tried it.

I recently spoke to another 'potential' who was very new to the world of infidelity. I asked him what he wanted to try with his mistress that he had never experienced before, a fantasy or something he'd always wanted to try but never had the balls to ask for. He literally blushed on his web cam, and said 'Anywhere outdoors, in fact, anywhere other than the bedroom!' After a lengthy discussion about exactly what he meant, it turned out he'd only experienced bed sex, for his entire sexual past. Never on the stairs, never in a car (even in his teen years), never on the sofa, never outside etc. I felt so sorry for him that he had never tried the unbelievable rush experienced with risky or public-place sex.

Back to my original conversation though, we started to compare notes, and as wild as he considered himself, I apparently can give him a run for his money. As it's not a competition I'm not telling you who did what to whom, and where, but our list of locations looked something similar to this:

How many can you tick or add to? I'd love to hear from you :)

Car - several makes and models, including estates, saloons, hatchbacks, convertibles, old, new, supercars, classics, vintage, and embarrassments :)
Vans
Trucks
Motorbike - not while it was moving I might add (over it!!)
Train
Bus
Plane
Hospital bed
Hospital Casualty department toilets
Public Park
Swimming pool - hotel
Swimming pool - public
Beach - In the UK
Beach - Abroad
Pub toilets
Cinema
Pornographic cinema
Restaurant - under the table
Night club toilets
Night club fire escape
Night club office
Street
Lay by - several times, and several lay bys
Pub car park
Woods
Bushes
Allotment
Graveyard
Church
Cathedral
Caravan
Tent
Phone box
Casino office
Office block toilets
Office desk
Lift
Doctors surgery
Hairdressing salon
Dental surgery
Newsagents shop
Department store changing room
Theatre dressing room

I am sure there are many more I could add to the list, and will keep thinking of them, because I've always been a fan of new places :)

I hope you're not all too shocked by the extensive range of places :) it was our combined list, but as a 'potential' who I am yet to meet, I am imagining what we will be like when we do eventually get together? Watch this space and keep an eye open for hand prints on your bonnet, or heel marks on your front lawn! You never know where we might end up next! :)