Friday, 6 May 2011

Bella Magazine Article......

For anyone who missed the article in Bella Magazine last week, here you go xxx




Real Life Scarlet Woman

When Karen Marley, 44, became disillusioned with single men, she set her sights on ones who were taken....

I've dated a hundred married men

Growing up with my older sister Debbie, I spent hours gossiping with her about boys and our future husbands.

'No one will be good enough for my girls,' my dad Harry said.

I always hoped I'd meet a man like Dad - intelligent, charismatic and kind. And when he died I was heartbroken. I was 22 and started looking to replace that protective figure in my life.

I met Alan, then 32, a year on. He was a mechanic and similar to Dad. We married two years later when I was 25 and I thought it was forever. But we drifted apart and eight years later we divorced.

I joined a dating website, where I met Robert, a 42-year-old businessman. He was open about still loving his ex but naively I thought I could change him.

'I'm sorry, Karen,' he said after three years. 'She's single now and I want to try again.'

I was heartbroken, but I picked myself up. And six months later I met Matthew, 36, a horse trainer. We enjoyed fun nights out and weekends away.

But, after a year together, I had a call from a friend who knew his ex-girlfriend. 'Matthew's been sleeping with his ex,' she said.

Furious, I phoned him and he admitted it. 'Why?' I cried. 'What did I do wrong?'

'Nothing,' he said. 'You just gave me space and it was easy.'

I couldn't forgive him for lying. And I realised that, given the chance, most men would cheat.

I dated a few more men from a website but they were either 'players' or wanted to settle down and have kids.

The ones I liked - who enjoyed a chat and a meal out - were often unavailable after 5pm and at weekends. I realised they were probably married - but was that such a bad thing? At least I'd know where I stood and could focus on having fun.

So I joined a website, Illicit Encounters, aimed at people wanting extra-marital affairs.

The first guy I went for was Sam. For our first 'illicit' date he whisked me off to Dublin and we had a fantastic time.

He didn't even want sex, just company. 'I miss the excitement of dating - my wife and I don't have that any more,' he explained.

'Arrange a weekly date night with her,' I said to him. I didn't want to break up any marriages, so offered advice where I could.

'My wife and I just watch TV in the evenings,' one said.

'Well, turn the TV off and cuddle up on the sofa,' I instructed.

I blogged about my experiences and told my family what I was doing. 'I get to eat oysters and drink champagne with the most interesting people,' I said.

'As long as you're being safe, I suppose it's okay,' my mum said.

Debbie agreed with her. But not everyone was so accepting. 'You're disgusting,' one person wrote on my blog. 'Leave other women's husbands alone,' others said.

So I decided to date 30 single men in 30 days to see if I was missing something. I applied to websites and friends set me up.

It was a disaster. Many men were mummy's boys, others had issues with exes, some were intimidated by my confidence and one even licked the plate clean in a restaurant!

'Single men are single for a reason,' I declared. 'I'm going back to married ones!'

I've now dated 100 married men and am seeing three regularly - Daniel, 44, an accountant, Paul, 58, a Swiss banker and my 'toy boy' James, 36.

I've been caught out. 'Are you sleeping with my husband?' one woman screamed, finding my text.

'We only talked,' I lied. 'He loves you - just make time for him.'

We chatted and she even ended up thanking me!

I know what some people will think of me, but I don't feel guilty. These men would be playing away elsewhere - and I genuinely believe I'm improving marriages.

I love being a mistress and I won't stop dating my married men for anyone.