Monday, 25 January 2010

The Money Question... Part 2

My last post got me thinking a little more about who should pay? And no, I don't mean for sex!! :) I mean on a date! As I already said I never 'expect' a man to pay when I go out, especially if I am dating a single man, but recently I have discovered that some men 'expect' a woman to pay, especially an older woman.

I found this when I dated - only on 4 occasions - a much younger man, who seemed to assume an older woman would pick up the tab, maybe as young women have been expecting older men to pay since the dawn of time. I may well have been slightly older (9 years), but I do have certain standards, and if someone doesn't even offer to pay it puts my back up. He went one stage further and that's why it only lasted 4 dates.

On the first date we were meeting for a very quick coffee to see if there was any chemistry. He sent a text to let me know he was running a few minutes late and would I get him a coffee when I got my own? I didn't object, its only a coffee, so I bought two, sat down and waited. We had a lovely hour getting to know each other, the time flew, and then we both had places to be so we went our separate ways. We arranged to meet the following night.

I told him what time I would be there, and his timing or planning was impeccable. Naturally I couldn't sit there alone without a glass of wine, so I got myself a large one - I needed it!! I settled down with my drink and a good book and he finally turned up - late again - went straight to the bar to order himself a drink. We chatted and had a lovely time again, but as my glass had been empty for a considerable time, and he hadn't offered to refill it, I decided to head back to the bar, and politely offered him one, which he rapidly accepted. The drink slipped down smoothly, but we were both driving so we decided to call it a night.

The following night we met for a coffee. As we walked into the coffee shop he said he loved this particular brand, especially their Mocha. As we stood in the queue waiting to be served, and he had made sure I knew what he wanted, he then announced he needed the toilet and disappeared, leaving me to order and pay! Now I know its only coffee, and a few drinks, but by this point I was starting to wonder if this was his regular behaviour.

The final time he called to make plans I invited him over to my house, knowing it would cost us both nothing, so the issue wouldn't rear its ugly head. While we chatted I discovered that in his 32 years he had never once been to a restaurant with a woman. I was practically speechless. I live in restaurants, they are a passion of mine, I love good restaurants, I admire chefs who create artwork with food, I love good food and exquisite wine, and so many of my friends love eating out that it is now classed as a hobby. We all discuss our experiences, good and bad establishments, and tick them off our recommendation lists when we have tried them. Eating out is so important to me, and to everyone I know, so this was new territory for me, someone who has NEVER eaten out.

At that point I knew we were never going to be right for each other. A man who avoids paying for drinks and NEVER goes to a restaurant is not what I'm used to, and he would not be comfortable around my friends, my family or me. It was an incredible shame because he truly was delicious to look at. I could have had him as a main course served up in a restaurant. But it got me thinking about my expectations of a man in a relationship. I think, because of the nature of my dating married men, I have found men who are true gentlemen, who insist on paying for things, insist on taking care of me and wouldn't dream of me paying for a drink, never mind dinner, even if I offer. Because I have got used to that situation it's difficult to go back to someone who doesn't pay for anything at all. I do hope a man would be happy parting with more than a crumpled note pulled from his back pocket, mixed in with his old tissues and an optimistic condom.

Delightful mail....2

And he followed it up with this beauty too :) It really has got me thinking this afternoon, and that's what a mail is meant to do!! Its just a shame today I am on my own working and I'm not around a man I can take my pent up sexual frustration out on :) xxx

Cradled between your tender thighs
I lift you to my mouth.
The abundance of your wetness greets me
and my mouth overflows with your warm essence.
Your sweet taste is on my tongue
and your fragrance delights my senses.
No gentle lick this visit.
No bashful cautious approach
For I wish to consume you.

Push against my hungry mouth
As the tip of my tongue slides up the slippery furrow
that welcomes me between rows of delicate pink petals.
Thrust against my generous tongue.

Show me the power of your desire
for my oral caress.
My exploring tongue lifts the hood
and finds your smooth firm pearl.
You squeal in that unique way,
signaling that I have found your special spot.
I harden in response.

My jaws protests what my open mouth provides
but I am unrelenting in my gift,
intent only on your fulfillment.
I feel your body tense,
and you are quiet now...
Concentrating... bearing down.
Soon now my love,
ecstasy approaches.

You push hard and fast against my tongue,
shameless in using me
and I so willingly comply
until you cry out...
and in your satisfaction,
I will find mine,
But mine will be the greater


Delightful mail....1

I received an email on Illicit Encounters today, and it was a delightful way to grab my attention. It didn't tell me anything about him, or why he had mailed me, and it was, of course, a cut and paste effort that I normally dismiss for lack of effort, but it had the desired effect by making me tingle! :) I thought I would share it with you and give you something to smile about on this dull January day xxx

Lover's Dance

Glistening bodies entwined
in an ageless erotic dance,
seeking pleasures from each other,
seeking wonder and romance.

She touches his face with tenderness.
He draws her body near.
Aching, needing hunger
will make their destiny clear.

Their lips meet in soft kisses,
their tongues begin passion's war.
Forgotten now, the outside world.
All is here, behind this door.

He strokes her body tenderly,
she arches up for his caress.
He finds her silken portal
and her womanly wetness.

She moans in fiery desire
and pulls his hand away,
wishing to end this exquisite torture
and get on with passion's play.

She straddles his waiting body,
eases him into her feminine hollow.
She leads him on a rhythmic dance,
his thrusting hips must follow.

She rides him faster, even then,
to hear his wondrous sighs.
She shows him all the delights
she has between her womanly thighs.

They stare into each other's eyes
and gasp as ecstasy unreels,
and tangles them in a lover's knot
that every answer reveals.

Sated, they lie side by side,
spent but hungering still.
She touches him where their passion came
and tastes their lovers spill.

Their mouths meet in passionate need,
hungry animals once more.
This time he rises above her,
her body to explore.

Their ballet begins again,
as he thrusts his manhood in,
vowing not to end the dance
unless her cries he'll win.

Like beasts of old they become,
riding with desire,
only resting their throbbing bodies
when sated by their fire.