Sunday, 5 April 2009

Balance of power.......

My lifestyle is different, different from my friends lives, different from the norm, different from the expected and at the moment it is suiting me very well.

I have spent most of my dating life stressing over men, whether they will call, whether they like me, whether they are going to be around in a week, a month, a year, and whether they actually want me. Just as I see my friends now, worrying about what his lack of communication means, why he won't meet her friends, why he's 'working so hard', why it feels like he's so busy he must be running the world, why the gym is more important than a date, why the football takes priority, and why the excuses seem plentiful, I realise there is an uneven balance of power in most relationships. Women are, by nature, the submissive sex, they are patient, more tolerant and understanding, therefore the power tends to be with the man, when he wants sex he will make the effort, when he doesn't need sex everything on the planet takes priority over his woman, and because of that women worry, stress and end up feeling pathetic for being so needy and not knowing where they stand.

With my lifestyle the balance of power has shifted. I've not turned into a heartless bitch who has no feeling, and I am not a Puppetmaster, controlling my suitors, but the days of me worrying, stressing and being pathetic are long gone. If a man doesn't contact me then that's his loss, if a man is so unbelievably busy with work then I will be entertaining myself elsewhere, with someone who has made time for me, if a man shows unacceptable behaviour then he doesn't get a chance to beg and plead and make me feel guilty for objecting to it. Because I'm not reliant on one man to make me happy I am not in the difficult position most of my friends find themselves in. I don't have to compromise, settle, or sacrifice, I choose the most amazing men to date, I choose the men I have a lot in common with, the men who are cultured, intelligent, fun and exciting, and adding to that I have my single time, my alone time, that I absolutely love. A lot of women find it hard to be alone, but I relish it. I have the best of both worlds, and I also have regained a lot of the control that women lose when they are in a relationship.

My friends are happy in their relationships, they may moan and whinge about their partners, everyone does, but they, like all women in the world, are stressing about what his behaviour means. I've learnt not to worry about his behaviour, men are simple creatures, and if he's too busy to see me, then that's surely his loss ;)

I believe we should be living our lives with more reasons to smile than frown, and, although my lifestyle doesn't suit everyone, and many disapprove of how I live my life, I can honestly say I smile more than I frown.


  1. Hi! I have only read one post so far from you(first time visitor) so I don't know what your lifestyle is but from the title of your blog, I think I can make a few conclusions (which I hope are right).

    Nevertheless, I agree with everything you said. My friends don't know and if they did they would denounce the path I have taken in my life but it's all good to me. I keep my own secrets and happy with what I am and what I do. I think that is the most important thing.



  2. Welcome to my blog and thanks for the comments, new visitors are always welcomed :) Thanks for dropping by and I hope you have time to read all of the others. I've been slack this week, been a busy one, so I will have plenty for everyone to read after the weekend :)