Friday, 22 January 2010

Sad but funny...

I thought I would share a rather bizarre conversation I had last night, it made me laugh and I thought you might enjoy it. Only online would you have men behaving like this, and only online would I have the opportunity to have some fun with it!

I was busy working, with several sites open, several programs open, and my task bar was full. So when the conversation appeared on MSN, from a guy I haven't spoken to in months, I opened it with the intention of closing it down almost immediately. I had too much occupying me without having to make banal small talk with a relative stranger, and was in the middle of something crucial, but then, sometimes, someone throws you a curve ball and you realise that its good to have a brief moment away from work. We had only chatted once before, it was relatively dull, I didn't really find anything mentally stimulating about him, although I do remember his picture being very hot, but last night I had better things to do with my time, or so I thought!

Him: Do you want to watch me on web cam?
Me: Don't I get a hello, how you doing etc?
Him: No, I'm horny, I can't help it.
Me: What's my name?
Him: I don't know, do you wanna see me?
Me: Nope, I'm not a free chatline.
Him: Please, I just need you to talk dirty to me to help me out.
Me: What's my name?
Him: I don't care.
Me: So you don't care who you wank in front of?
Him: No.
Me: You just want a free chatline?
Him: Yes.
Me: OK, get it out then.

The fool did! From that moment on, this was going to be sport! I have learnt over the years how to make a sport of the sad, thoughtless, selfish, inconsiderate wankers (literally), but I didn't really have time to go to town on him, I decided to let him hang himself with his actions. They like to think they are important. They aren't. They like to think women have got nothing better to do than watch strangers wanking, that we should be grateful for getting to see a penis, any penis!! His camera flickered into life, and there he was, cock in hand, with a desperate, almost demonic look in his eyes. He was already fit to burst. I looked him over and typed,

Me: Wank for me then.
Him: OK, do you like what you see?
Me: Yeah!

I minimised the window onto my task bar and carried on with my work while he wanked himself stupid. He assumed I was watching him, when in fact he was wanking to cyber emptiness. Occasionally the box would flash at me again, I would open it, still he was wanking frantically telling me to talk dirty to him. At one point he asked,

Him: Why aren't you talking?
Me: I'm speechless, I am just watching you.
Him: Is it making you hot?
Me: Oh yeah baby!

I returned to my work with a wry smile. I had hardly even glanced at the sad, desperate man who felt the need to wank in front of any stranger he could find. The box flashed again.

Him: Did you like that baby? Did you like watching me cum?
Me: Oh sorry, I missed it, I went to get my glasses because I couldn't see your small cock properly. I missed it. Ah well. Another time!

I logged off!

I know, its cruel, and I will suffer in my next life for making fun of someone who is sharing a special moment with himself, but I couldn't resist! :) If guys have to wank on cam with people they have talked to before, they should at least remember her name!! I wonder if it will stop him doing it again? Or will it just stop him asking me again? Either way, I don't think I'll be hearing from him anytime soon! :)


  1. Oh Karen Baby that is just so funny and I think that was simply THE BEST way to handle him - as you said WTF do they thing we are?

    Just because we're on IE DOES NOT mean that we're willing to put up with shit like that!

    I am so going to try that next time I get a loser like him..

    XOXO as always,


  2. Duh, I've got one as well. Nice bloke in most respects, but suddenly wants to talk mucky without any lead up. Not sure he knows MY name either. Can't even be arsed to humour him , so I call upon a plethora of excuses that I've built up just for the purpose.

    Don't want to hurt him as he's just a bit too nice, but a bit too desperate!

  3. What's up with guys I swear ! Who wants to see some random guy's cock anyways ? :) Last time someone asked me if I wanted to watch him, I told him, No thanks I'm good. Maybe they're secretly wishing we'll return the favor :)

    Funny post :)

  4. Haha, thanks girls, and I'm glad to know it's not just me, I thought I was doing something wrong to encourage them lol. Its a shame I can't copy the webcam footage and post it on my blog, and then let them know its being streamed across the world on a site. Mind you, the exhibitionist in them would probably enjoy that even more! lol. After seeing Lesley Grantham (Dirty Den) do it on webcam I often wonder if any of these guys are famous, and obviously we can't recognise them via just a close up image of an erection lol :)

  5. I have just laughed out loud in a very, very quiet office. Thank you! Reading this has made my day!