The Life of a Serial Mistress

Just needed to post a small piece to say sorry to everyone who loves my blog, and all my followers, because I've been very slack with my writing lately. I've been very sick for about 3 weeks, and it's now getting tiresome :( I have had problems with severe headaches, which meant I ended up being rushed into hospital a few weeks ago to have a lumbar puncture (big needle in my back) and several scans and tests. They haven't found what caused it all but its now left me with 'cluster migraines' so its rare I am free of the nasty headache, the sickness and the flashy lights in my eyes. Pain I can tolerate, it doesn't really stop me doing things, I'm made of tough stuff, but the worst part is the lights. I have been left with that permanently by the looks of it, and need to see an optician next week to see what can be done. If you can imagine looking at the sun for a minute and then trying to read something on screen or in a book, part of the image disap...

"Can't you see beyond his ear?" my friend asked when I told her why 3 date Dave wasn't getting a 4 th . "Seriously, its like tracing paper - the light shone behind it and I could see the veins!!" I said. Sadly, although I could see through his ear I couldn't see past it to a future with him. I used to put up with a lot, I was never too choosy, if he was attractive and had a good personality I could cope with most things, but the night I made my excuses to leave a date with a man who had a belly button piercing, seemed to signal the dawning of my choosy phase. I had visions his penis would resemble a rusty breakers yard and quite frankly I didn't want to stick around to find out. The last time I had encountered an intimate piercing I regretted it for a week, after catching it on a filling and almost biting it off with the shock and pain. If anyone has ever chewed on silver foil with a filling you will know the pain and reluctance to repeat the act!!...

Just finished an hour on Adrian Goldberg's show, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I know I'm broadminded, I know I'm open and honest, and I know I'm fairly unique when it comes to matters of the heart and further down, but I genuinely wasn't sure I would be able to handle random callers and text comments. I thought I would be judged for being the 'Serial Mistress' so hated by the callers last time, and I thought I would have something thrown at me that I wouldn't be able to handle and I would completely die on the air. Admittedly with Adrian around that would probably not happen but I didn't want him having to carry a guest. He's good but he shouldn't be doing my part too :) Its only when you're faced with the things that scare you, and come out of it unscathed, that you realise you're more than capable of handling anything. It gives you a satisfying glow knowing that you can take on your critics and any curve ball that comes along. T...

*** HANKY-PANKY! *** An evening of Frisky Burlesque Frivolity! Thurs 16th July @ Brudenell Social Club, Hyde Park, Leeds Doors open 7pm, 1st act 8pm sharp Entrance £6/£4 NUS Come and get that warm feeling that only charity and gratuitous nudity can bring! An evening of unmissable mischief and frippory featuring: The enchantingly enticing Adelina le Shay! The gracefully gratifying Crystal Cupcake! The saucy siren Miss Cissy P! Gorgous glamour girls The Dagger Dames! Yorkshire's finest boylesque star: Duke Wayward! The feisty Frauline Freya Fox! The effortlessly elegant Glorian Grey! The stunningly seductive Jubilee Swoon! The teasing temptress May Hemm! The prettily provocative Nana Katana! The beautifully bawdy Nelly Plum! The adorably alluring Ruby Buttons! The vivacious vixen Willow Blue! Not to mention dazzling vocals from our compere the delectabley divine Emm Brulee! What a stonker of a line-up! Dare you miss it??? Join the event: http://www.facebook.com/groups.php?id=64164595...

Poor bedroom manners, bad hygiene, G spot ignorance... It only takes one small sexual slip up to flick our 'off' switch. I was in bed with my 'then' boyfriend. We were having sex and he came first. Then, within seconds, he climbed off me, got out of bed, sat at his computer and started writing an email. "Erm.... Hello? What about me?" I asked. "Oh," he replied airily, "finish yourself off." That, folks, was a sex deal-breaker for me. Let me explain. In our relationships we have dos and don'ts. First we have the ideal list, the things we'd really like from our partner if we lived in a perfect world (do cook our meals, do buy us Chloe handbags and fabulous shoes, don't fart in bed, and don't consider your ability to burp the Match of the Day theme tune a talent worthy of Britain's Got Talent!). Then there's the most important list - the list of what we require to make us happy with a man (sense of humour, kindness, gen...

It's so frustrating when you don't know if your date is shy, a bit distracted or if they are just not that into you. These warning signs and tips can apply to men or women, so watch for them next time you're on that hot date you're convinced is going really well :) Foot tapping If your date is shuffling or tapping his feet, be alert. This can be a sign he's bored or uncomfortable. If you're sitting outside on a freezing day, bear in mind he may be trying to warm himself up! Wide eyes Your new date is not coming out of her shell – quiet answers paired with an inability to make eye contact. If you get the chance, check out her pupil size – if they're dilated then she likes what she sees. Just make sure you're not sitting in front of a poster of a baby or kitten. Crossed arms People cross their arms in front of their chest as a self-defensive mechanism and is often used to prevent people getting too close. If your date has crossed their arms and has their f...

I had to tell you about a most hilarious date I went on a few months ago. I was planning on keeping it to myself, because I wondered if it was my fault I was attracting nutters from all over the world, but I thought I would share it with you, and ask if this is 'normal' behaviour, am I just being too picky? :) At this point I have to say he was single - not my usual choice but I thought I would try the single market to see what I was missing and if, in fact, I was making a mistake just dating married guys. I agreed to meet him in the car park of a local pub. It was broad daylight, and we were meeting during working hours so we would both be dressed accordingly. He was a bank manager, and had told me to look out for a brand new BMW 5 series. I thought clearly he's doing ok for himself, he must be intelligent, ambitious, successful, all traits that I find attractive. We had chatted briefly on the phone, chatted online about mundane, boring things, the usual small talk, nothi...