Monday, 25 January 2010

The Money Question... Part 2

My last post got me thinking a little more about who should pay? And no, I don't mean for sex!! :) I mean on a date! As I already said I never 'expect' a man to pay when I go out, especially if I am dating a single man, but recently I have discovered that some men 'expect' a woman to pay, especially an older woman.

I found this when I dated - only on 4 occasions - a much younger man, who seemed to assume an older woman would pick up the tab, maybe as young women have been expecting older men to pay since the dawn of time. I may well have been slightly older (9 years), but I do have certain standards, and if someone doesn't even offer to pay it puts my back up. He went one stage further and that's why it only lasted 4 dates.

On the first date we were meeting for a very quick coffee to see if there was any chemistry. He sent a text to let me know he was running a few minutes late and would I get him a coffee when I got my own? I didn't object, its only a coffee, so I bought two, sat down and waited. We had a lovely hour getting to know each other, the time flew, and then we both had places to be so we went our separate ways. We arranged to meet the following night.

I told him what time I would be there, and his timing or planning was impeccable. Naturally I couldn't sit there alone without a glass of wine, so I got myself a large one - I needed it!! I settled down with my drink and a good book and he finally turned up - late again - went straight to the bar to order himself a drink. We chatted and had a lovely time again, but as my glass had been empty for a considerable time, and he hadn't offered to refill it, I decided to head back to the bar, and politely offered him one, which he rapidly accepted. The drink slipped down smoothly, but we were both driving so we decided to call it a night.

The following night we met for a coffee. As we walked into the coffee shop he said he loved this particular brand, especially their Mocha. As we stood in the queue waiting to be served, and he had made sure I knew what he wanted, he then announced he needed the toilet and disappeared, leaving me to order and pay! Now I know its only coffee, and a few drinks, but by this point I was starting to wonder if this was his regular behaviour.

The final time he called to make plans I invited him over to my house, knowing it would cost us both nothing, so the issue wouldn't rear its ugly head. While we chatted I discovered that in his 32 years he had never once been to a restaurant with a woman. I was practically speechless. I live in restaurants, they are a passion of mine, I love good restaurants, I admire chefs who create artwork with food, I love good food and exquisite wine, and so many of my friends love eating out that it is now classed as a hobby. We all discuss our experiences, good and bad establishments, and tick them off our recommendation lists when we have tried them. Eating out is so important to me, and to everyone I know, so this was new territory for me, someone who has NEVER eaten out.

At that point I knew we were never going to be right for each other. A man who avoids paying for drinks and NEVER goes to a restaurant is not what I'm used to, and he would not be comfortable around my friends, my family or me. It was an incredible shame because he truly was delicious to look at. I could have had him as a main course served up in a restaurant. But it got me thinking about my expectations of a man in a relationship. I think, because of the nature of my dating married men, I have found men who are true gentlemen, who insist on paying for things, insist on taking care of me and wouldn't dream of me paying for a drink, never mind dinner, even if I offer. Because I have got used to that situation it's difficult to go back to someone who doesn't pay for anything at all. I do hope a man would be happy parting with more than a crumpled note pulled from his back pocket, mixed in with his old tissues and an optimistic condom.


Delightful mail....2

And he followed it up with this beauty too :) It really has got me thinking this afternoon, and that's what a mail is meant to do!! Its just a shame today I am on my own working and I'm not around a man I can take my pent up sexual frustration out on :) xxx


Cradled between your tender thighs
I lift you to my mouth.
The abundance of your wetness greets me
and my mouth overflows with your warm essence.
Your sweet taste is on my tongue
and your fragrance delights my senses.
No gentle lick this visit.
No bashful cautious approach
For I wish to consume you.

Push against my hungry mouth
As the tip of my tongue slides up the slippery furrow
that welcomes me between rows of delicate pink petals.
Thrust against my generous tongue.

Show me the power of your desire
for my oral caress.
My exploring tongue lifts the hood
and finds your smooth firm pearl.
You squeal in that unique way,
signaling that I have found your special spot.
I harden in response.

My jaws protests what my open mouth provides
but I am unrelenting in my gift,
intent only on your fulfillment.
I feel your body tense,
and you are quiet now...
Concentrating... bearing down.
Soon now my love,
ecstasy approaches.

You push hard and fast against my tongue,
shameless in using me
and I so willingly comply
until you cry out...
and in your satisfaction,
I will find mine,
But mine will be the greater

x

Delightful mail....1

I received an email on Illicit Encounters today, and it was a delightful way to grab my attention. It didn't tell me anything about him, or why he had mailed me, and it was, of course, a cut and paste effort that I normally dismiss for lack of effort, but it had the desired effect by making me tingle! :) I thought I would share it with you and give you something to smile about on this dull January day xxx

Lover's Dance

Glistening bodies entwined
in an ageless erotic dance,
seeking pleasures from each other,
seeking wonder and romance.

She touches his face with tenderness.
He draws her body near.
Aching, needing hunger
will make their destiny clear.

Their lips meet in soft kisses,
their tongues begin passion's war.
Forgotten now, the outside world.
All is here, behind this door.

He strokes her body tenderly,
she arches up for his caress.
He finds her silken portal
and her womanly wetness.

She moans in fiery desire
and pulls his hand away,
wishing to end this exquisite torture
and get on with passion's play.

She straddles his waiting body,
eases him into her feminine hollow.
She leads him on a rhythmic dance,
his thrusting hips must follow.

She rides him faster, even then,
to hear his wondrous sighs.
She shows him all the delights
she has between her womanly thighs.

They stare into each other's eyes
and gasp as ecstasy unreels,
and tangles them in a lover's knot
that every answer reveals.

Sated, they lie side by side,
spent but hungering still.
She touches him where their passion came
and tastes their lovers spill.

Their mouths meet in passionate need,
hungry animals once more.
This time he rises above her,
her body to explore.

Their ballet begins again,
as he thrusts his manhood in,
vowing not to end the dance
unless her cries he'll win.

Like beasts of old they become,
riding with desire,
only resting their throbbing bodies
when sated by their fire.

Sunday, 24 January 2010

The Money Question... Part 1

My week started off badly, with my car breaking down outside a friends house. It left me firstly with the dilemma of how to get it to the garage, and secondly wondering how to pay for it when I am just recovering from Christmas and a monster pile of bills including road tax, insurance and a faulty water tank, so my bank account is looking redder than Dorothy's shoes! Since I gave up the rat race and my ridiculously huge salary, to live my simpler life as a photographer and writer, I have left the material world behind me and thoroughly enjoyed it, and it's only when several bills slap you around the face that you wish you were back on the road earning £70,000 a year.

There's only one thing worse than being skint, and that's being skint and single. If you're a cash strapped couple, at least you can spend evenings cuddled up on the sofa or weekends in the bedroom. But when it's only me, a bottle of cheap red and a Jackie Collins bonkbuster before bedtime - well, that's just rubbish. Worse still is being asked on a date when my bank account is in a dreadful state like it is now. If a man asks me out, chances are he'll pick up the bill, but I like to at least offer to go Dutch. Secondly, the key to a hot date is in the preparation: a new outfit, a haircut - hell even a new pair of shoes if I'm feeling really hopeful. Finally, what if I need a get out clause? There's nothing worse than being stuck on a date-from-hell in a remote country pub without enough cash for an emergency cab home. Trust me, I've been there for four hours and it wasn't pleasant.

I'm not against budget dates - some of my favourites have been low-cost picnics in the park or strolls on the beach. But I've learnt that scrimping on a first date can be a recipe for disaster. Like the time I agreed to go on a blind date set up by a mate: Date Boy told me excitedly beforehand, 'There's this amazing Chinese restaurant I'd like to take you to.' Brilliant, I thought, as I headed to meet him with an empty tummy and a head full of expectation. But when we arrived at a cafe-cum-kebab-house, with neon signs screaming 'Two courses and a drink for under £5!' I half expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I'd been 'punk'd' (if only). I spent the next two hours sitting in a plastic chair, eating chow mein out of a polystyrene dish, wishing I'd worn my jeans instead of my best frock. And sadly, my date turned out to be more bland than my sweet-and-sour chicken balls.

The thing is, I don't expect to be whisked away to Paris in a chartered helicopter for a first date (although that would be cool). It's just that cutting corners from the start doesn't bode well for the future. Like my date with Ian, another guy I met on a singles website. Minutes after spotting him and before I could say 'Hi', he piped up with 'Just so you know I'm in the middle of buying a house right now so I only have £10 left in the world. How does it feel that I'm spending my last tenner on you?'

Actually, it felt really uncomfortable. All I could mutter was a meek 'Er, shall I buy this round?', followed by some tedious small talk before he told me at 9pm that he'd 'let me go'. Thanks, I thought, after nursing a glass of red wine (bought by me) for two of the longest hours of my life.

You see, I think first dates should be seen as a long-term investment. We devote time, energy and money to building a great shoe collection, or saving the deposit for a flat. So why not put the same expenditure into your love life? JLo might insist that Love Don't Cost A Thing, but I beg to differ. When it comes to relationships, you get out what you put in. And I like to think I'm worth slightly more than a handful of change.


Friday, 22 January 2010

Sad but funny...


I thought I would share a rather bizarre conversation I had last night, it made me laugh and I thought you might enjoy it. Only online would you have men behaving like this, and only online would I have the opportunity to have some fun with it!

I was busy working, with several sites open, several programs open, and my task bar was full. So when the conversation appeared on MSN, from a guy I haven't spoken to in months, I opened it with the intention of closing it down almost immediately. I had too much occupying me without having to make banal small talk with a relative stranger, and was in the middle of something crucial, but then, sometimes, someone throws you a curve ball and you realise that its good to have a brief moment away from work. We had only chatted once before, it was relatively dull, I didn't really find anything mentally stimulating about him, although I do remember his picture being very hot, but last night I had better things to do with my time, or so I thought!

Him: Do you want to watch me on web cam?
Me: Don't I get a hello, how you doing etc?
Him: No, I'm horny, I can't help it.
Me: What's my name?
Him: I don't know, do you wanna see me?
Me: Nope, I'm not a free chatline.
Him: Please, I just need you to talk dirty to me to help me out.
Me: What's my name?
Him: I don't care.
Me: So you don't care who you wank in front of?
Him: No.
Me: You just want a free chatline?
Him: Yes.
Me: OK, get it out then.

The fool did! From that moment on, this was going to be sport! I have learnt over the years how to make a sport of the sad, thoughtless, selfish, inconsiderate wankers (literally), but I didn't really have time to go to town on him, I decided to let him hang himself with his actions. They like to think they are important. They aren't. They like to think women have got nothing better to do than watch strangers wanking, that we should be grateful for getting to see a penis, any penis!! His camera flickered into life, and there he was, cock in hand, with a desperate, almost demonic look in his eyes. He was already fit to burst. I looked him over and typed,

Me: Wank for me then.
Him: OK, do you like what you see?
Me: Yeah!

I minimised the window onto my task bar and carried on with my work while he wanked himself stupid. He assumed I was watching him, when in fact he was wanking to cyber emptiness. Occasionally the box would flash at me again, I would open it, still he was wanking frantically telling me to talk dirty to him. At one point he asked,

Him: Why aren't you talking?
Me: I'm speechless, I am just watching you.
Him: Is it making you hot?
Me: Oh yeah baby!

I returned to my work with a wry smile. I had hardly even glanced at the sad, desperate man who felt the need to wank in front of any stranger he could find. The box flashed again.

Him: Did you like that baby? Did you like watching me cum?
Me: Oh sorry, I missed it, I went to get my glasses because I couldn't see your small cock properly. I missed it. Ah well. Another time!

I logged off!

I know, its cruel, and I will suffer in my next life for making fun of someone who is sharing a special moment with himself, but I couldn't resist! :) If guys have to wank on cam with people they have talked to before, they should at least remember her name!! I wonder if it will stop him doing it again? Or will it just stop him asking me again? Either way, I don't think I'll be hearing from him anytime soon! :)


Thursday, 21 January 2010

The Fear.....

I am frequently asked why I date married men, or unattainable men, and why I don't find 'one of my own'. I was asked again today and it made me think about it. You know I've tried the single-man thing, even recently, but I always seem to return to the attached men and the life I love. I have never considered finding a man is going to be a solution to any problems I may have. I don't have 'the fear', the bizarre feeling some women, of a certain age, experience when they find themselves alone. I haven't 'needed' a man but I have 'wanted' one occasionally. It is a state I have been in for many years, I love the peace and quiet of solitude. I admit I miss the occasional hug, cuddle or more, but thankfully I am self sufficient, independent, happy in my own skin and at peace with the knowledge that I like who I am.

I don't 'need' to be fulfilled by a man, he isn't going to 'complete me' because I am fairly whole to begin with. I understand men far too well to want to have one in my life on a permanent basis. I completed myself and now I am looking for additional adornment. The scatter cushion to my furnished room, the fabulous bracelet to my perfect outfit. Instead of being the main course, he is to be an occasional addition, a dessert complimenting a gourmet meal.

I've seen the desperation in women around me, the urgency to be loved, adored, and picked off the shelf. They have gone to incredible lengths to find a mate, from Internet dating to loitering around their local supermarket, late at night, with a lasagne ready meal for one tucked into their basket. They have asked friends and family to set them up and spent hours combing the personal ads in the local paper. But their desperation is palpable. The men could almost taste it.

Their need to find a man has taken them to places most people, especially women, should never go. For instance, Tracey has spent most of her time searching sex sites for approval. Convinced she isn't attractive enough to get a man on her own merits, she has offered to suck them off or bend over the bonnet of her car with an audience. She has offered this 'service' to complete strangers assuming they wouldn't want to meet her any other way. She visits a local lay by three times a week. Prearranged with several men as her 'regular appearance', but also advertised across many sites on the net, she meets up with between 15 and 40 men a night.

I recently asked her why she does what she does, expecting to hear that her love of all things phallic, or her uncontrollable sex addiction, means she has complete control over her behaviour. Her answer shocked, and saddened, me. "I hope one day that a guy I suck off in the lay by will like me enough to go out with me". It was almost laughable. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but that's genuinely how she feels.

I decided to set her up on a date, to help her on the way to some form of normality, and at the last minute she cancelled, cold feet getting the better of her. When I asked why, she said "I've not been on a date for years, I've not had a face to face conversation with a man for years. I wouldn't know what to say. I only know how to suck a cock and screw strangers". At this point I knew she was a lost cause. No matter how much coaching or training I did, to teach her how to behave around men, I would never get her out of the mind set of thinking the man of her dreams would be alive and well in a lay by with his cock firmly in his hand. Because we have all met our potential future partner while they have been mid wank, haven't we!!!!

Another friend of mine used to offer to pay for everything, on the first date and forever more, in the hope she would snare a man who wanted to stay longer than a few weeks. Her reasoning was "If I take the financial pressure of dating away from him then maybe he will be able to stay long enough to see what I'm really like". As sad as her logic was, she did find herself a partner, and 18 months into the relationship he disappeared, with every penny from her bank account, driving her new car, the one he'd encouraged her to buy. She is currently single and now too broke to repeat the pattern, but I doubt she has learnt by her mistake.

Desperation does dangerous things to women. My single friends can't understand why I don't 'need' a man in tow, and because of that they miss out on the treats and pleasures that come with a relationship with 'understanding'. It has meant that I have been wined and dined in the finest restaurants, been spoiled with presents, been flown abroad for holidays, and had more laughs, with (and at) dates, than most people could hope for in a lifetime. So, while I sit silently in my cottage, warm and relaxed, typing this, listening to my choice of music, I answer those who think I'm not 'normal' by being a single mistress, and I say how is it not normal to want the life you choose to have, to want what makes you happy and to want to be your own person, and not have to change for anyone. That's what everyone is looking for, but 'the fear' makes people settle for whatever comes along, even if it's not what makes them happy. The fear of being alone, the fear of being judged for making alternative choices and the fear that their true self isn't worth having.







Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Another new blog....

I know, I know, I hear you cry 'Not another one, 4 is enough!!' But I quite fancied the idea of this one, and it really wouldn't fit in to any of my others, so, as of today, I will be welcoming all my followers to join my new blog The Questions of a Curious Mistress :)

Strange title you say? Yes, it is, but the idea is I ask a question, an interesting, thought provoking question, sometimes serious, sometimes funny, and YOU contribute to make this blog successful and fun reading. I will be posing a question, and you will answer it :) That sounds too much like hard work, it sounds like you need to know lots of useless facts, but you'll be wrong. They will be love and sex related interesting questions, the sort you would love to ask all of your friends at a dinner party :) And of course you are welcome to steal them for your next get together or party :)

Examples of the questions I will be posing are:

If you were to complete the phrase 'A life without love ....' how would you finish it?
If you could make love one more time with someone from your past, who would you choose and why?
If you could have a sensuous massage every day from someone famous, who would you choose?
If you could grab the buttocks of someone famous, who would you grab?
If you were to identify the biggest turn-off in sex, what would you say it was?
If you could try one thing in bed that you've never done, what would it be?

So, if you fancy joining in the fun, and having a good think about what you like to do, what you would do and what you have always wanted to try, then add your contribution on to the site :) You can of course leave the answers anonymously, but there won't be any questions that may incriminate you. Just take it for what it is, good fun and a bit of a laugh, it may well create some interesting debates, and anything that encourages a 'mass debate' is always worthwhile. After all none of us 'mass debate' enough! :)

Sunday, 17 January 2010

January...

I will freely admit I'm climbing the walls!! I've been stuck in the house, out of action, since before Christmas! I had to get Christmas out of the way, and all of my usual male 'friends' were, naturally, caught up doing family things. Then I was sick for several days and couldn't have been charming and fabulous if you'd paid me. And now, the gods have been against me. I've been snow-bound, in my tiny village, and it just seems to be getting worse. It's endless, and there seems to be no relief where we can all get back to some normality. Thankfully I work from home, so I don't have to worry about getting into an office, also this is the quietest time of the year for my business so I had already planned January for a relaxing writing month. Catching up on paperwork but allowing myself some time to edit the novel and possibly finish it.

Admittedly I have had plenty of time to do this, and I've been making excellent progress, but sadly I've had nothing to blog about because no men can make it through and I can't escape to somewhere glamorous and warm.

January's are usually like this for me though. I find the men in my life have the nightmare busy Christmas, with the constant demands forced on them by the Mrs, but then January is busy at work, because they have two weeks of work to catch up on. So I find quiet times at the beginning of the month, building back to normality by the third or fourth week.

But also I've discovered that all the hot men seem to be in hibernation, with hangovers and glowing red bank accounts. I can't write the whole month off as a sex-free zone just because men are taking three weeks to recover from doing nothing for two weeks! In recent newspapers, it has been reported that the bad weather has increased new membership applications to all of the dating sites on the Internet, including IllicitEncounters, having their busiest week in their history last week, during the severe weather warnings in place, countrywide.

For the last three years of dating, my January has been a little bare to say the least. It is, of course, scientifically proven that men find us more attractive in the summer months, for obvious reasons. I never feel sexy in Ugg boots and wet jeans! It's hard to try to feel sexy in this weather, and when we are all carrying a little post Christmas bloat and a bikini line that resembles Russell Brands hairdo, simply because over the holidays there are no dates on the horizon, we are broke and looking for ways to keep warm, even if it includes starting at insulating our foofs! :)

Also, when it comes to my house, its virtually impossible to feel remotely sexual. You apparently can't make love in a big fleecy nightie or wyncyette pyjamas, I asked and its not a good look, but its totally necessary attire in one of the coldest houses in the country. My cottage is hundreds of years old. Tiny, with low ceilings, monster thick walls, but a very poor heating system throughout, original sash windows that rattle and blow a gale in even the slightest wind, doors that used to fit, once, but now need a big, stuffed, sausage dog draught excluder all the way around it, not just at the bottom.

Its not a good temperature to ask a man to reveal all, knowing full well that anything that was interested and standing to attention would be crawling back inside his body within seconds of the icy chill hitting him. If he is too excited, there is a distinct possibility that the tiny drop of pre-cum, appearing on the tip of his rapidly shrinking penis, could form a mini icicle! So for that reason I don't ask men to come to my place. I have a couple of suitors with 4 x 4s who claim they could drive to Antarctica, and getting to mine would be a walk in the park for them, and although I'm tempted to invite them over, because of this terrible itch I need scratching, I don't fancy getting down and dirty, naked, in a freezing cold house. Having the electric blanket on when you fall into bed together can be a bit of a passion killer. After all, its only meant to be pensioners who have those (even though I love it and recommend that every single girl should have one!).

I've had no end of offers this month, but I've found myself backing away from any new opportunity because my body has been in no shape for sharing. It's sods law that these fab men haven't come into my life when I am at my summertime sexiest. My body hasn't seen daylight for months. Getting naked in front of any man for the first time is always scary, but in January it's truly terrifying. When you're in a long term relationship the sex is a given, so you're always ready. Even if you let your grooming slide, it won't matter, cos he loves you. But sex when you're single or a mistress, is unpredictable and much more high maintenance. You have to be ready at the drop of a hat in case he calls to arrange an impromptu meeting.

According to my male friends my concerns are in vain. While women everywhere are worrying about flattering lighting, or pubic topiary, or fake tan streaks, or the shade of Daz bluey whiteness our cellulite is now resembling, apparently he doesn't notice things like that. He's just grateful there is a woman in front of him and he's thinking 'Wow, she's actually naked and I'm about to have actual sex with her!'

I wonder if women are actually more shallow than men. I always assumed women had the body image issues because men expect us all to look like Cheryl Cole but I find myself being incredibly choosy and only dating what I describe as 'hotties'. A friend of mine had a one night stand recently, but he had such substantial man boobs she was tempted to suggest he borrow her bra. But he didn't notice that she'd missed a waxing appointment because he was so pleased to be getting some. But its no wonder men are making more effort with their beauty regimes, we are expecting more. Maybe its time girls took up the old male mantra of enjoying the moment instead of getting side tracked with body issues and how much pubic hair we have.

Who knows this could be an amazing January, when eventually I get out, possibly my sexiest yet, and if I stop worrying about my pubes or post Christmas pale look, I might get some new recruits to the world of the Serial Mistress. I just don't ever want to resemble a wife!!!

Friday, 8 January 2010

Those lost loves...

I'm curled up in bed, sick, but thankfully I have my TV and DVD to keep me company (and sane), and I've just finished watching 'An Affair to Remember'. I've still got tears in my eyes, and I don't know anyone who doesn't shed a tear for this fabulous film. It's definitely an 'afternoon, curled up in bed' type of film, and if you haven't seen it then you really must. It's amazing, I love it. Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr at their best.

Every time I watch it I think of the men I have loved in my life. There haven't been many, I don't fall in love easily, and have pretty good control of my feelings. But a film like this doesn't stop me thinking of the loves I've lost and those relationships that didn't have the opportunity to reach their full potential due to circumstances, timing or fate.

I'm sure in a 'Parallel Lines' life I'm happily married, settled down, barefoot and pregnant, or I'm floating around on my yacht in the Mediterranean with a figure to die for and a tan to match. But this is the life I'm living or at least I'm aware of, and the one you're reading about, where timing and fate has definitely had a huge part to play in any outcome.

I'm sure if Dad hadn't died when I was 21 I wouldn't have found and married my ex-husband, almost a replica of my dad, with the same values, and arms that made me feel safe and secure. He was older than me so he was ready to take things easy, just as I was raring to go. No doubt if we met now we would have been together forever, but timing simply wasn't right. The first married man I dated had been stood at the altar on the day I actually left my husband. Truly rotten timing. My first serious relationship after my divorce was plagued with his feelings for his ex-girlfriend, he was still in love with her and no doubt had I met him 12 months later we would have been fine. He wasn't over her when we met so I felt like Princess Diana, there were three of us in the relationship. Had he taken more time to deal with his feelings, before he started dating me, we may have had a chance, but as it was, I had to give up because it all became too much like hard work. Various subsequent relationships have had similar problems, bad timing, too close to recent break ups, work commitments, family issues, etc. but I've always believed that if it's right, exactly how it should be, then nothing will get in the way. Maybe that's another reason I date married men, I can remove the timing and fate issue from the equation :)

I'm sure we've all been in the situation, when we think back through our lives and wonder how things would have turned out if timing or fate had been kinder. I guess at this time of the year we all reminisce, and being stuck in your bed, ill, adds to the opportunity.

So now I'll settle down to watch Singing in the Rain for the third time in as many days, and dream about how different my life would have been if I'd been born a generation earlier and had bumped into Gene Kelly. That was how it was meant to be all along, but fate wasn't playing ball then!!


IE Press release....

Snowed-In Spouses Flock to Affairs Site

A UK-based extra-marital dating site has received a huge surge in traffic today, presumed to be caused by the number of men and woman forced to work from home during the bad weather.
IllicitEncounters.com, which provides a platform for married people to conduct affairs, has seen an unexpected increase in visitors over the last 24 hours, and has received a record number of new profiles this morning. The site reports that the majority of new members are registering from areas worst hit by this week's extreme weather, including Hampshire, Berkshire, and the West Country, and has taken on several temporary staff members to cope with the rush.

Spokesperson for the site Sara Hartley comments, "In light of these figures, I'd be interested to see how much work those "working from home" have actually done!"

"The adverse weather has obviously influenced many sign-ups." continues Sara. "Usually, the West Country is a relatively quiet area for IE - but over the last 3 days we have received over 900 new members from Cornwall, Devon and Dorset. Perhaps these wives and husbands have just been waiting for a time when they could join, away from the eyes of their work colleagues and, most importantly, their partners.."

In the last 6 days, IllicitEncounters.com has gained 2,567 new members, suggesting that January 2010 will be the site's busiest month ever.


Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Did Santa Come?...

No, tut tut, I don't mean did he deposit the contents of his sack under your tree!! :) I mean, did he bring you all something lovely?

Sadly, he brought me and my family the mother of all stomach bugs that has left us all bedridden for a week - and not the good way I'd like to stay in bed! But he did bring me lots of lovely things, especially before Christmas, which is when my Christmas day actually is. I usually have several celebrations depending on when my 'friends' are available.

It's a crazy time of the year for all those attached dads out there, with kids off school and the Mrs hanging around, and it's hard to fit the mistress into the equation, especially near the actual day. So I've always been very accommodating and I've never complained about having more than one restaurant serving me an exquisite turkey dinner and several bottles of champagne in the lead up. I also can't complain about Santa managing to find time to fit me in early. I've never been sure if he fits me in early because I've been naughty and don't deserve it on 'the big day' or because I've not been good, even bloody excellent!! :)

Anyway, Santa didn't have much imagination this year, I need to have a word with him - OR - my 'friends' are trying to tell me something! :) I got six bottles of perfume and two necklaces. The necklaces are beautiful, no complaints there, and my men clearly have exquisite taste, but the perfume?? Do I smell bad to justify six bottles? (No is the answer you're looking for by the way) I think it's partly my own fault to be honest, I've spent the last couple of months having a blitz and clear out of my perfume cupboard and decided to empty a few bottles with only a few days supply left in each one. I like to make space by using things up, its very satisfying finishing any kind of bottle! :) So I've been pulling virtually empty bottles of fragrance out of my handbag while on dates. Not a very subtle hint is it? But I actually didn't realise what it must have looked like until I received so many new ones, it really wasn't intentional :) Honest guv... :) But its lovely to know that my 'friends' are so observant, thank you!

He brought me some very sexy underwear too, but I have the dilemma of 'should I only ever wear it for the man who bought it for me, or is it acceptable to wear it more often?' I don't mean for doing the ironing, although that would make the chores fun and interesting, but is it unethical to wear it while entertaining another man? I'd love to know from all the girls if they keep their underwear exclusively for the man who bought it, or does it get a viewing elsewhere? And from the guys, would you mind if the underwear you bought for her was being used with her other lover/s? (Bearing in mind - you're in a relationship where you know she has more than one suitor lol).

Anyway, I hope Santa was good to you too, there are benefits to being a serial mistress, just like my lovers - Santa gets to come more than once :-)


Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Phone numbers....

Am I the only one who deletes phone numbers when they are either:-

a. no longer needed because we tried it, it didn't work and it is over and done with,
b. no longer needed because he was a cock before we even got chance to meet,
c. there was nothing to be over and done with, cos we swapped numbers but never got any further than one text, because we got distracted elsewhere, and now I can't remember who he is! :)

Either way, I delete the number because my phone would be full of random names, I wouldn't be able to keep track, and I'd take too long scrolling past them when I have a cool joke to send to someone I actually know and like :)

Anyway, the reason I ask is because the season of goodwill has been upon us once again, and the time to wish everyone in your phone a merry Christmas, and a happy new year, has arrived. Of course the fact that practically everyone is drunk late at night doesn't help matters.

In the past 2 weeks I have received 18 Merry Christmas/Happy New Year texts and five late night calls to say 'Hi, how are you and where did we go wrong?', not to mention the 'Oops sorry, I meant to call my sister Karen - who are you?' Classic!!!

So why have these people even kept my number? I'm clearly not interested. I'm clearly not planning on calling them, and we're clearly never going to get together. Is it a difference in the sexes? The girls automatically 'Tidy up' to avoid confusion, accidental drunken text messages, or to ensure our phonebook is kept to an efficient, manageable size? Yet the men have endless random names and numbers in their phones, just in case their mates ever look, they have 500 entries to make them look popular. If it was a non-electronic version it would resemble an obscenely bulging Little Black Book, and apparently knowing five Karens, 17 Traceys, 11 Susans and a Jessica means they are a 'stud'! :)

It's bizarre. I have never sent a text message to my entire phonebook by mistake, because I have business numbers in it, and I am careful! I wouldn't dream of sending a rude message to everyone because my ex husband and my family are in my phone. Also I have never mistakenly rung someone at 2am in a drunken mess because chances are I'd call a married man's number and cause havoc, or worse, a divorce! Or possibly call my mother and send her into a tailspin wondering who has died because 'No one calls at that time of night unless it's bad news!'

I have rambled on about phone numbers before, but that was the idiotic, thoughtless use of my number from someone I was seeing at the time, but when men I have never met are calling or texting over a year after we exchanged numbers, it just feels wrong!

Maybe someone can enlighten me. Is it, like I mentioned, a difference with the sexes? Do men keep numbers as trophies and women want to delete the unnecessary from their lives? Is it just me - am I overly keen to tidy up and delete superfluous numbers? Or am I so irresistible and unforgettable that men keep my number in the hope they may, one day, need to resurrect what never happened?

Anyway, to all the people out there nursing my number and reading this, don't call me when you're drunk, or text me something random or rude at 2am, cos I may well store your number and do the same to you some day!!! :-)


Where have you done it? ....

I've just received a book I ordered, about Sex in public places, and it sparked a conversation with my current 'potential' as to where we have been naughty. It started quite innocently, but suddenly all the mental pictures of where I had 'done it' came flooding back. It made me curious where my fans and followers had tried it.

I recently spoke to another 'potential' who was very new to the world of infidelity. I asked him what he wanted to try with his mistress that he had never experienced before, a fantasy or something he'd always wanted to try but never had the balls to ask for. He literally blushed on his web cam, and said 'Anywhere outdoors, in fact, anywhere other than the bedroom!' After a lengthy discussion about exactly what he meant, it turned out he'd only experienced bed sex, for his entire sexual past. Never on the stairs, never in a car (even in his teen years), never on the sofa, never outside etc. I felt so sorry for him that he had never tried the unbelievable rush experienced with risky or public-place sex.

Back to my original conversation though, we started to compare notes, and as wild as he considered himself, I apparently can give him a run for his money. As it's not a competition I'm not telling you who did what to whom, and where, but our list of locations looked something similar to this:

How many can you tick or add to? I'd love to hear from you :)

Car - several makes and models, including estates, saloons, hatchbacks, convertibles, old, new, supercars, classics, vintage, and embarrassments :)
Vans
Trucks
Motorbike - not while it was moving I might add (over it!!)
Train
Bus
Plane
Hospital bed
Hospital Casualty department toilets
Public Park
Swimming pool - hotel
Swimming pool - public
Beach - In the UK
Beach - Abroad
Pub toilets
Cinema
Pornographic cinema
Restaurant - under the table
Night club toilets
Night club fire escape
Night club office
Street
Lay by - several times, and several lay bys
Pub car park
Woods
Bushes
Allotment
Graveyard
Church
Cathedral
Caravan
Tent
Phone box
Casino office
Office block toilets
Office desk
Lift
Doctors surgery
Hairdressing salon
Dental surgery
Newsagents shop
Department store changing room
Theatre dressing room

I am sure there are many more I could add to the list, and will keep thinking of them, because I've always been a fan of new places :)

I hope you're not all too shocked by the extensive range of places :) it was our combined list, but as a 'potential' who I am yet to meet, I am imagining what we will be like when we do eventually get together? Watch this space and keep an eye open for hand prints on your bonnet, or heel marks on your front lawn! You never know where we might end up next! :)