Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Media circus.....

It seems its starting again, but this time I feel strangely nervous, possibly because of the criticism last time, maybe because I know what I'm letting myself in for, and maybe because this is now a serious, and large, part of my life and not a frivolous, light hearted chat with a journalist.

Its interesting to some degree, fun and distracting, but equally damaging and I have seen a few friends fall by the wayside, and two very special men freaked out by the circus. I think that's the hardest thing to deal with, because they never know the real me when they are caught up in the melee. I know its only a matter of time before it calms down, and hopefully then I can get back to some form of normality, and by then maybe I will be distracted by other special men, but I will always be disappointed about what the consequences of this life have been.

This is a brief blog today, there will be much more to come, rushing off for photos, hair and makeup, and no doubt being styled to look like a hooker to sell more papers, the media image of a mistress will always be confused with a hooker. Lets hope eventually the mistresses of this world can change that opinion. I feel a little tantrum coming on today, I won't look like a secretary, or a nurse, or a french maid!! :) Watch this space to see the dummies being tossed from the pram :)

Have a great day everyone, and more blogs will follow later today xxxxxx

Saturday, 28 March 2009


Friends without Faces.....

We sit and we type, we stare at our screens
We all have to wonder what this possibly means.
With our mouse we roam, through the sites in a maze
Looking for someone as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes
Small groups we do form and gang up on our foes.
We wait for somebody to type out our name
We want recognition but it's always the same.

We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes we flirt
In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.
We do form friendships but why we don’t know
Some of these friendships will flourish and grow.

Why is it on screen we can be so bold
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.
Why is it we share the thought in our mind
With those we can't see, as though we were blind.

The answer is simple, it's as clear as a bell
We all have our problems and need someone to tell.
We can't tell real people, but tell someone we must
So we turn to the 'puter' and those we can trust.

Even though it is crazy the truth still remains
They are Friends Without Faces, with odd little names.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

Sorry for not blogging much for the past couple of days, been mid crisis with a friend but unfortunately not much can be blogged about that.

I was planning a very funny blog about going to the doctors but I've decided to hold off telling it until another day. After hearing about Jades death today, somehow an oddly humorous story about a gynaecologist visit didn't seem appropriate.

Anyway, for this particular short blog, I'm going to say to anyone who is ill at the moment, who has just lost someone or who is facing a very difficult time ahead, my thoughts are with you. It makes me realise that whatever any of us are doing on the IE site, on here or any other site, whether married, attached or single, we should take the opportunity to grab life with both hands and kiss it, in fact, do anything you want to it, because if anyones death (Jade, Natasha Richardson, Wendy Richard to name just 3 in the past couple of weeks) teaches us anything it should be 'Life is too short, and make the most of every single day, cos it might be snatched away from us at any moment'.

Find happiness wherever you can find it, either in the arms of someone who makes you tingle, or trainspotting with your anorak on, anything that makes you smile even a tiny bit, find it and keep hold of it, its better to smile your way through life.

Life is not about how long you take breath, its about moments that take your breath away.

xxxxx

Thursday, 19 March 2009

George Michael.........

No, don't worry, this post isn't specifically about George Michael, I'm not some strange obsessed fan :)

Following my interesting encounter yesterday, not exactly the 'normal' date that I am used to, I began to wonder if I need (or others on here and the IE site need) George Michael sex to make me tingle.

Let me explain. I am sure most married/attached people get incredibly bored with mundane, missionary position sex. Admittedly it gets that way over time with a partner, and most relationships end up boring in the bedroom, but what is my excuse for needing something more 'exciting, risque or kinky'? George Michael has admitted that normal sex doesn't turn him on anymore. He needs to do things in strange places, or with strangers, to be aroused sufficiently to get the 'buzz'. I realised that I don't really like normal anymore, but I'm not in a long relationship where the sex could possibly have got boring. After my latest encounter I was not only turned on by the man but equally what we did, and the promise of doing more things that would be against the norm.

Have I crossed the George Michael line? It makes me wonder if I can go back to normal or if I will always be on the hunt for riskier and kinkier activities, and if that is the case it scares me to wonder where it would end. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure normal sex would be wonderful, but would I ever get that heart racing, chest thumping, head buzzing thrill that pure adrenalin fuelled risky sex brings? I doubt it.

I think I may well be on a slippery slope with banana skin shoes on :)

Monday, 16 March 2009

Change.....

Men marry a woman and hope she never changes, and she does.

Women marry a man and hope he will change, and he doesn't.



***********************************************************






I read the article by Simon Jones in the Times yesterday and part of me felt incredibly sorry for his wife, but another part agreed with him, and he was echoing what I'd already said a few weeks ago.



http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5881689.ece



Admittedly I was talking generally, and not about a specific person in my life, so for that reason my heart goes out to her, but, apart from sounding a little pompous, selfish and arrogant, he has a fair point.


I hear it so often from men - 'my wife doesn't understand me', 'my wife went off sex when she had the baby', 'my wife stopped paying attention to me years ago', 'I just miss the cuddles' 'she's not the woman she was' etc etc, and that got me thinking, if she hadn't changed so dramatically would they still be looking for additional fun? Does a woman changing from a sex kitten to a sloth make their behaviour a little more acceptable? Or would they be doing it anyway?

I've accepted the married man into my life, and love it, because I am still the sex kitten (maybe a sex cat now), I still make the effort in every way, and their appreciation is shown on many levels, but I wonder if I settled down with a single man I would end up in 'scruffs' and get comfy. That could be why I am happy being the serial mistress because I love making that effort, for someone who, firstly, notices and, secondly, appreciates it.

I have said before that married women need to make more effort, but if she ends up boring, frumpy and unfit, shouldn't the right man accept that and love her in spite of it? Or will some men always be looking over her shoulder for the next challenge, conquest or hole?

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Sunday morning.....

In the words of Lionel Richie, I'm easy like Sunday morning :) No, that doesn't refer to my sexual habits, its refers to my perfect Sunday mornings, week after week :)

As a single girl I take it for granted that Sundays are my own, they are peaceful, I stay in bed as long as I want, I eat what I like for breakfast or meet friends for a Sunday lunch in the pub and a catch up. I wear what I like if I'm not going out :) The housework only gets done if I want to but that's usually Saturdays job. I 'potter' and read books, and usually have Sunday afternoon watching old movies like I did when I was a kid. 'Breakfast at Tiffanys' is lined up for today, along with the rugby of course. I sneak off to my local farm shop for a piece of their perfect cheesecake and do some writing, inspired by the surroundings, the peace and tranquility, but whatever I choose to do if just that, my choice.

I suppose my ramblings this morning are about the fact that I feel sorry for married men (and women) whose Sundays are not their own. They are up with the lark because the car needs washing, the garden needs tending to, the lawn needs mowing, that fence needs fixing, the shelves need putting up in the bathroom, the ironing needs doing, and Sunday lunch is with the in-laws (every week). But also caught up in all the necessary chores there is the knowledge that they can't break free to contact their lover. They look forward to Monday morning when they can run from the mundane homelife and get back to 'normal'.

Who knows, some might enjoy it, but in my experience most dread Sunday coming and wish it over before it even starts. How do you feel about your Sundays? Do you love the time spent with your family? Or hate doing the things you 'have to' instead of the things you 'want to'?

Audrey Hepburn and Cat are calling now, so I should settle down with my cuppa and wallow in the serenity :)

Thursday, 12 March 2009

Lost innocence .......

I'm not sure if its a shame or a blessing that my innocent view on life has deserted me. Admittedly it did so many moons ago, but it made me smile the past couple of days. Not sure why recently, I suppose it does it often, but yesterday I saw a man parked at the side of the road, innocently no doubt, on the phone. Out in the middle of nowhere, well off the road, engrossed in a call, I immediately assumed he was talking his lover! No chance that it could be business or the Mrs, it had to be his lover, that call he makes before the phone gets turned off and hidden for the night :)

Even sitting in the pub at lunchtime, having a very lovely illicit encounter of my own, I looked around and wondered how many other couples were in the same position. You could tell from the flowing conversation across tables, and very close body language, that the majority weren't married :)

But it has spread further than 'are they having an affair' curiosity. I now look at total strangers and wonder what perversions, fetishes, and activity they engage in. After dating the occasional 'odd bod' who looked more than normal, I now wonder about everyone. From the teacher who wore my underwear to work (until he bought a nice pink set of his own), to the bank manager who thought it was acceptable to relieve himself in a car outside a pub (with a butt plug firmly inserted), I now see people in a new light. I have dated an innocent, 'butter wouldn't melt' man who had a monster cock strap on hidden under their car seat, and the sensible financial advisor who liked to call me mummy! Its all very bizarre, and each to their own, I'm never one to stand in the way of a man and his fetish, but it certainly has made me view people differently :)

So, as an innocent man, on his phone, passes me in the street, is it a good thing, or bad, that I now look at him wondering if he's calling his lover, and if he's actually looking for somewhere to relieve himself, with a butt plug being held firmly in place by his pink lacy panties :)

Oh how times have changed! :0)

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

I'm writing.......

Finally I can sit and do some work tonight :) Tonights work is going to involve finding out more about what constitutes a bad date? Is it something as trivial as simply no attraction, or a date eating with their mouth open? or can it be something hideous, like watching said date lick their plate in a restaurant, or strop off if a suggested 'grope' is turned down?

I've had some corkers in my time, and I always assumed it was just me, but apparently not. In the process of writing the book I've chatted to friends, family and strangers, about their hideous dating experiences. It has been hilarious, and very depressing in some cases, to hear that I don't have the monopoly on the 'bad date'.

From the man who sent me a photograph of his much younger and much better looking brother, to the man who forced his way into my house, my dates have been 'interesting' to say the least. I've walked away laughing, and I've run away screaming (literally) but they have all made me think that the men in this world have been taught nothing by their mothers!! :) Is it just men who make for a bad date? Or are the women in this world making the same mistakes? I'd be interested to hear your views, and hear of your bad experiences. If you want to keep it to yourself I completely understand, and my email address is available on my profile.

I really do need to get some work done now but I've not been out with a lovely man for a few days (been too busy) and I'm starting to distract myself with thoughts of a lovely dinner and an even better snog, amongst other things :)

Bad day at the office.....

The short fat bald one appeared :( And can't fix my 'problem' until later in the week! I guess I'll have to be visiting friends, towel in hand, for the next couple of days!

How incredibly frustrating, and not even some eye candy to help the medicine go down! lol.

So, I'm grumpy now, and need cheering up :) Any suggestions?

British Workmen......

Unfortunately I'm stuck in the house, with the age old problem of 'waiting for a workman to turn up'. We've all been there, we've all wasted hours of our lives doing it, but hey, these things are sent to try us, and it means I can work on my blog ;)

Anyway, this isn't a moan about British workmen, its actually about the attractiveness of certain jobs. My plumber, who I'm hoping will be coming today, and not sending his short fat bald assistant :) is stunning. He could easily be a model and has a body to die for, but obviously, because he's here to do a job I couldn't possibly cross that line, but it doesn't stop me dressing well and making sure my hair is nice lol. But how many of us would cross that line?

Are there particular jobs that are more attractive, as opposed to the person? I know girls appreciate a nice fireman, policeman, or professional man in suit, but what do guys like? Is it the predictable nurse, policewoman and headmistress or is that actually just a roleplay fantasy? Are there any jobs that turn you on, regardless of what she looks like? I must be a strange one though, because as much as the above works for me I'm also very partial to radio presenters (its the voice), writers and artists (its the creativity), builders (its the muscles) and, sorry to admit it, RAF or Army guys (its the uniform and the hero status). Thats quite dangerous to own up to, considering I live spitting distance from RAF Leeming and Catterick Garrison. Shopping in Tescos has taken on a whole new meaning :)

I will try to keep my hands to myself when my plumber arrives, even if he does spend an hour bent over fixing my pipes! :) But I'd be interested to know who has ever crossed that line, or what turns you on about a job.

Hope everyone is having a great day, it seems mine will be quite a nice one :)

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Beauty ....

I'm watching Katie Price on TV and its made me ask the question what makes a woman beautiful. We are surrounded by media telling us we have to be size 4, skinny, big boobs, tall, long hair, long nails, perfect makeup, just the right clothes, but is that what makes us beautiful? As Jordan she was a sex symbol, driving men wild up and down the country, and as Katie Price, although the image has changed dramatically, she is still very attractive to many, but as many?? Who knows. Has she attracted a new breed of 'follower' by being a yummy mummy?

Cheryl Cole, a stunning woman, amazing figure, hair, face, exterior but it wasn't enough for her to keep her man faithful. Her husband has wandered, you would think because she's traditionally beautiful he wouldn't need to.

Liz Hurley, also a stunning woman, amazing figure, hair, face, exterior but it wasn't enough for Hugh Grant to stay faithful, ending up with a hooker, who quite frankly was not a classic beauty.

Is it, therefore, nothing to do with the exterior?

Naturally because of the recent media attention I've had to bear the brunt of some criticism about my age, my looks, and my weight, but when it comes to men I seem to do just fine. What do men really want? Anyone who reads this blog knows I date men, married men, single men, attached men, and even a gay man :) But what makes me different in their eyes?

With married men I tend not to see the other half, its not something I would want to do, because it makes it far too personal, but occasionally it happens, by accident or by mistake on his part, I see a photograph. I have been surprised at how physically beautiful these women are, they look after themselves, they work out, they watch their weight, they spend time at the salon making sure they look great, but their man is with me, small, curvy, not been in a gym for years. Clearly beauty is not all about the outside.

I have always believed, and have been told, that men don't necessarily want to wake up next to a princess, they want to be woken by someone who wants them, and can't start their day until they have had them. Is that all it is? Is it because the men I meet aren't shallow, and they want more in a woman than the fake boobs and the tiny waist, or maybe married guys aren't remotely interested in what their mistress looks like and go for the interest, the attention, the affection, and the offer of everything that is missing.

I suppose everyone is different, and I'm not every mans taste, but I certainly do ok for myself, and I'm thrilled to say I've heard from other women who aren't 'stereotypical mistress material' who are doing very well too, I feel thats one in the eye for the skinny, fake woman :)

What are your preferences, and why? I'd be interested to know.

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Different types .......

I'm looking into the wide variety of men who choose to have an affair, an illicit encounter, a fling, a one night stand, and their reasons for doing so. Its impossible to pigeon-hole people, but in my experience it seems they all (in some shape or form) fall into one of three categories.

I wonder which you are :)

  1. Mr Womaniser - the man who has been doing this for years, he's had countless affairs, flings, one night stands, call them what you like, while he was 'courting' his wife, and since the wedding. Its a natural thing for him. He adamantly believes that monogamy is an unnatural state and men are meant to spread their seed. His wife is oblivious because the lifestyle he has created for her has blinded her rationality. He is usually debonair, charming, attractive, smart, intelligent and witty. He knows what he has and knows how to use it and has been using it, over and over, since the day he hit puberty. No one on the earth would ever stop him doing what he does best, and he loves every minute of it. Explaining that his wife doesn't understand him he rushes headlong into as many encounters as he can, and loves every minute.
  2. Mr My First Time - the man who is new to this, has never had an affair before, but has reached a point in his life where he needs to feel wanted. He's been tempted at work but that has scared him, especially when he watched Fatal Attraction. He has thought about it for months, even years, and now, thanks to modern technology, he can move forward on his plan. He wants one lover, only one, and is nervous and terrified about the prospect. Chances are he chats to quite a few and loses his nerve at the last minute before meeting, so it takes him quite a while to take the first step. When eventually he does he goes into the relationship just as he did with his wife, a real romance, considerate, caring, kind, gentle, truly 'wooing' the lady in the full sense of the word. He doesn't want his mistress to meet any other men, and in fact she is a second wife rather than a mistress.
  3. Mr In Denial - He's married, and has been for years, but he swears he is 'separated'. His wife doesn't understand him, they haven't slept together for years (but does that mean separate beds or no sex?), they lead separate lives, she doesn't care what he does, they have an open marriage, etc etc. Its all 'acceptable' in his mind because he's convinced himself he's only married on paper. If asked why he hasn't left he would always have an excuse - waiting for the kids to grow up, waiting till after the annual holiday, waiting till after Christmas, waiting till his parents pass away, etc etc. Although he would never leave, he convinces himself, and his mistress, that one day he will, and life will be so perfect.

It is quite an interesting subject when you look into it. Admittedly we can't categorise everyone out there, but it is amazing how, after years of dating married men, they do fall naturally into one of them.

Which category are you?

:)

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Another one bites the dust......

I suppose its a side effect of being a serial mistress, and dating more than one guy, that eventually one or two will fall by the wayside and quickly be replaced. Is it natural selection, survival of the fittest, or stupidity on their part? lol. Another one has recently bitten the dust, surprisingly (or not, however you view my recent 'activities') because of the media attention. He assumed (but was never told) that he was the only one. He goes home to his wife every night, and has another girlfriend he sees occasionally, but was 'beside himself' when he realised I had more than one suitor. He felt seeing me once a fortnight was enough for any girl (ahhh the delusions of a man with an over inflated ego lol), and thought I couldn't possibly need any other attention because three text messages and one call a day sufficed! :) Anyway, the dummy has been tossed from the pram, along with the teddy and a small ball, which is still bouncing around my living room :) No doubt the apologies and remorse will surface in a few days but oh my, too late, he has been replaced :)

My god it makes me sound like such a bitch, but I don't understand why men, who are cheating with one or more lover, feel its acceptable to be possessive, needy and clingy. We are all on that site for a reason, and we all understand the situation, surely, but as time passes it never ceases to amaze me how men behave and how, in no matter what situation, they think its all about him :)

This isn't a dig at him, he had his preferences, just as I have mine, and this isn't a 'man hating torrent', its simply my thoughts about the fact that unfaithful men like to make demands on their lovers as well as their wives. When did that start? Or is it just the men I am choosing? :) No doubt this will be an ongoing 'issue' with me, and more will follow, just as, occasionally, another will fall by the wayside.

I love being single :)