The Life of a Serial Mistress

I got a lovely email the other day from one of my followers, asking me for advice regarding a first date. I've tried replying, to give him the benefit of my experience, but sadly his mail keeps getting returned to me. So I decided to post his original dilemma on here and the reply I was sending him, so he can at least see it. I will be posting it tomorrow, but wanted one last try to see if he was reading my blog and could contact me through a different email address. I fear he may have given up on someone he liked on Illicit Encounters, simply because she wasn't as forthcoming as he expected. His problem seemed very similar to a few people I have spoken to in the past, so maybe it will help my other followers facing their first forays into the world of infidelity and internet dating. Sb if you're reading this, get in touch. Good luck in the world of dating :)

For anyone who missed the article in Bella Magazine last week, here you go xxx Real Life Scarlet Woman When Karen Marley, 44, became disillusioned with single men, she set her sights on ones who were taken.... I've dated a hundred married men Growing up with my older sister Debbie, I spent hours gossiping with her about boys and our future husbands. 'No one will be good enough for my girls,' my dad Harry said. I always hoped I'd meet a man like Dad - intelligent, charismatic and kind. And when he died I was heartbroken. I was 22 and started looking to replace that protective figure in my life. I met Alan, then 32, a year on. He was a mechanic and similar to Dad. We married two years later when I was 25 and I thought it was forever. But we drifted apart and eight years later we divorced. I joined a dating website, where I met Robert, a 42-year-old businessman. He was open about still loving his ex but naively I thought I could change him. 'I'm sorry, Karen...

I recently wrote this piece of fiction, from the perspective of a mistress different from myself. As I was writing it I realised this is how most affairs progress, and where most mistresses end up; knowing the wife, falling in love, and realising it will never be what they want. So many people criticise my life as a mistress, but this is exactly why I never date anyone I know, and why I NEVER fall in love. I hope you enjoy xxx ************************************************************* Reason Number One: Your wife. Julie and I have never been what you'd call close friends. She's quite a few years older than me, so we didn't hang around with the same crowd when we were younger. But I've always liked Julie, and living in a small town, it's inevitable that our paths will cross from time to time. Like they did last weekend. I told you I was going to Maria's hen party and presumably you knew Julie would be there, too. But you didn't tell me that. Y...

I was called on again by Jonathan Vernon-Smith on BBC Three Counties. He was discussing infidelity and super-injunctions. Andrew Marr brought the subject to the headlines and JVS was asking the question 'Will every man cheat, eventually?' Apparently Mr and Mrs Marr have been married for 23 years. Is it a generational thing? Or do they just do it when they have become bored? http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00g4vml/The_JVS_Show_26_04_2011/ The subject matter is discussed for the first hour. I'm on around 40mins. I apologise for the woman before me if you bother to listen for the whole hour, she was hard work to listen to lol. Enjoy xx

The 'Super-Injunction' argument rumbles on, and the rich and famous are protected from criticism, or at least the men are. Imogen Thomas, the Big Brother contestant who is known for being a bit of a WAG-wannabe, is in the firing line for being the mistress of a very famous Premiership footballer. Here she appears on This Morning and explains her situation. She's being slaughtered for what she's done, while he simply buries his head in the sand and doesn't face any repercussions. Why is the mistress always to blame? I am looking forward to the day the injunction is lifted and his name is released. I have a feeling we will be pretty shocked when we find out who it is. http://thismorning.itv.com/thismorning/life/imogen-thomas-speaks-out

I'm in this week's edition of Bella Magazine (the one with Denise Welch on the front). Feel free to buy it and let me know what you think. Sadly there isn't a link to it online because Bella magazine doesn't seem to have a website, but I'll probably reproduce the article on here next week sometime, when the magazine is no longer on the shelves. Hope you enjoy the article. xxxx

It's naked sunbathing time again - yay!! OK, OK, its not today! But it was this week. It was stunning weather up here and I took advantage of it by laying out for a few days with nothing on. I've been asked by many people if I sunbathe alone, and yes I do. I have invited one or two people to join me in the past, but I do relish the total peace and quiet when I'm alone. I found this little piece the other day, and it made me smile, because I have a new friend I haven't met yet, who is a naturist, and he's dying to start naked sunbathing with me on a regular basis, and has even invited me to join him at naturist events, and on holidays. I'm not sure how far I could possibly take any of this, at the moment I'm just considering it, but knowing how much fun my followers are, I thought I'd share it with you, and some things I have never got to say to him, or any other naturist I might meet - no matter how much I will be tempted now I've posted this :)...

Who knows where it started, but many of us are familiar with the third-date-rule. You know - the one about 'nice' girls waiting until the third date before sleeping with a man. Whoever invented it, you can be sure it wasn't a woman. It puts pressure on us from all sides. According to this rule, as well as it being frowned upon to leap into bed with a man right away, if we want to wait a bit longer - say five dates, or more - we're considered unadventurous. Or, even worse, frigid. A quick survey among my male friends revealed they acknowledged that modern women often want sex as quickly as they do. But although they may be happy to rip our knickers off with their teeth on the first date, some admitted they might not want to take things further afterwards. One admitted, "If a man wants to have sex on the first date, you should be aware he probably doesn't plan to see you again." Which is refreshingly honest, though utterly depressing. As someone who...

Do all men in long-term relationships secretly yearn to be single? This is a question that came up during another date with my newly divorced guy. While he was married he envied his single best friend, Jack. At parties he would watch Jack chatting up women, by midnight he'd be heading home with one. He would collapse into bed with his wife and go immediately to sleep in preparation for the 5am onslaught of his kids. He envied Jack, going at it like Tiger Woods with a cocktail waitress until the sun came up - and beyond. I had always assumed married men were secretly yearning for the life of a single guy; no strings sex with a variety of women, no exhausting kids acting as passion-killers, and no chance of sex ever becoming boring or repetitive. I thought they wanted the ego boost of sleeping with a succession of different women and the constant excitement of new conquests. All of this had come from the string of married men all desperately trying to behave like single men, te...

Interesting man facts - some of them are unbelievable, but true :) Nearly 70% of men make the first move in relationships Only 6% of cheating men would tell their mates about their infidelity 41% of men think a pashmina is a curry 51% of men find it hard to talk about their feelings 5% of men have sex at least once a day. Lucky devils Men find hourglass figures most attractive 21% of men think they are unlikely to meet a girlfriend speed dating 12% of men have slept with a mate's ex and hidden it from them 32% of men find most of the texts they receive from girls confusing 27% of men hide their sweets from their family and friends One in five men still fantasise about an ex 89% of men would prefer to have a serious relationship with a girl who had natural-looking blonde hair than a platinum blonde Men spend more money than women when trying to get over a break-up. Who knew? It takes men in relationships an average of 10 months before they give up trying to keep slim for their gir...

When a friend tells me about her latest single male acquaintance/workmate/bus driver and declares, "He's just your type!" I have two questions to ask. First, how do you know your bus driver is single? (Jumping red lights = frustrated = not getting any?) And second, what exactly is my type, lady? Because you and I both know I don't have one. No, I refuse to be typecast. There's no 'Tall, dark and handsome for me, please!' When it comes to dating, no type is safe from me - for I have been out with them all! A 6ft 7in basketball player; a bald, heavy-metal-loving music journalist; a blonde high-flying City boy; a squat-living crusty; a depressingly beautiful sound engineer who was 10 years my junior (please don't judge me...) And the list goes on. Now, you could think me insufficiently discerning, or really rather cheap. But I'd prefer to say I'm just exploiting and enjoying one of the most wonderful aspects of being single - that you c...

I love being single, and face constant criticism because I don't want to be settled down in a conventional relationship. What's so wrong with being single anyway? Whatever happened to girls doing it for themselves? Maybe one day I will find someone I'm prepared to give it all up for, but right now, I love my time and space. If you find yourself single, don't look around desperately trying to replace him, just enjoy your 'me' time... Get to know you again . Sometimes we get so caught up in a relationship that we lose a bit of ourselves, forgetting what it is we like or feel passionate about. If you find yourself single, take time to get to know yourself again. Eat the foods you love, listen to the music that moves you and do things for the sole purpose of pleasing you. Focus on friends . Being single doesn't mean you need to become a social recluse. Take time to connect with friends or even to forge new friendships. Spend quality time with the peo...

I've been open to a lot of criticism lately, and I guess that comes with the territory, but the major gripe is the fact that I 'censor' my comments on here. I have done that simply because I was getting threats, and grief from someone who didn't know how to behave. I always believed if you couldn't say something nice then don't say anything at all. Comments on Facebook or Twitter I can deal with, but I shouldn't have to cope with anonymous hassle on here. I started this blog because it was fun, because I thought some people might be interested, and because it has a certain cathartic effect. But the grief I have tolerated has been above and beyond what anyone should deal with. If you don't like what I do then move on, don't read my blog and boil about it, just read someone else's blog. If you don't like how I look then tough, you don't have to look at me every day, so move on, go and read someone's blog you like the look of. An...

The lovely Jonathan Vernon-Smith seems to be mellowing in his old age. I've done his show several times now. I remember the first one and he was evil, pure evil. I was very close to putting the phone down and ruining the whole interview but I persevered. Obviously in the subsequent interviews he's actually listened to me and now realises I'm not the 'marriage-wrecking ho' he initially assumed I was. Wednesday's interview was about whether all men would cheat given half the chance. I've always believed, even before the serial mistress label was attached, that if a space ship landed in front of any man, and his perfect woman stepped out, offering anything he desired, with no possibility of anyone every finding out, he would take it. I'd like to hope that there are one or two very decent men in this world who worship their partners so much that they would hesitate, and possibly refuse, but the longer I am the Serial Mistress, the less likely that seem...

Are all men pre-programmed to cheat? http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00ffkbl/The_JVS_Show_23_03_2011/ I'm on from around 1hr 32mins. Thankfully JVS wasn't too harsh this time :) x

You can guess with the location that this interview was a little 'difficult'. By the end of the show they were calling for me to be stoned, and most of Northern Ireland were 'praying for me' :) Unfortunately there isn't a Play Again facility on their site, so I've tried to record it, and hopefully it should work when I've edited the adverts out etc. Bear with me. It's all go at the moment :)

The link to my scary interview on This Morning on Wednesday. Blog posts to follow :) This Morning interview - This is just the initial interview - watch out for the 'face' sitting next to me. The sofa was actually moving with her huffing and puffing like the wolf in the tale of the Three Little Pigs :) This Morning interview and phone-in - This is the whole show. I'm back on again at about 1.03 ish, with Denise, for the phone-in. Enjoy xx

I, stupidly, got myself into a relationship. Against my better judgement I thought it was what I needed, partly because I hadn't been in a 'normal' situation for so long I decided to give it a try, but I also listened to my own press and was heavily influenced by public opinion - a lesson learned. Admitting you're a Serial Mistress is a big deal. I had all the grief about being the 'Scarlet Woman' and some understanding about being single and free to make my own choices with no one getting hurt, but the recurring questions were always "Don't you want a man of your own? Don't you want to fall in love? Do you think you'll ever settle down?" etc. I started to feel pressure from all sides to 'settle' and leave my outrageous lifestyle behind. The more I thought about it and, god knows why, listened to friends, family and the public who contacted me through my blog, the more I was tempted to try it. So I looked for a single man, no...

I have taken time away from my blog for various reasons. I have been seeing a single man I met when I was trying my '30 dates in 30 days' experiment. I've been ill and needed a break from things on here. I've had family issues to deal with, and I've had a new addition to my family - Josie Dollyknockers. But also I've been hassled, bothered and bullied by someone on the net - hence my relative silence on here and Twitter. I've managed to block his hideous comments from appearing on the blog, and I've spoken to the police about his increasing criticism, judgements and threats. Hopefully he will settle down now, now he realises he can't reach the general public with his vitriolic attacks. I'm determined not to let some hideous reject, with no social skills whatsoever, stop me doing something I love. I love dating, I love writing and I love running my blog. No one has ever tried to stop me writing, which is surprising considering some of the...

Firstly, I will apologise profusely, to all of my dedicated followers, for my silence - it seems to have been no time at all, but it has flown by. So I want to thank you all for sticking around and being patient while you had nothing exciting or stimulating to read on here. There have been several reasons, some I want to keep private for now, and some I will tell you about in my next few posts. But I am back. I am back dating. I am back dating married or attached guys. And I am back dating as the Serial Mistress. Normal service can now be resumed.

Totally away from my normal post, but something I feel incredibly strongly about. Please check out Leah's blog and the link to the petition to sign. Please sign it to help everyone out. http://latestarterchronicles.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-month-before-heartbreak.html?zx=d413b4c8b91b3362

An article in the Daily Mail recently, all based on facts collected from Illicit Encounters . Very interesting :) 12 ways to spot a cheat And in case everyone was wondering where I had gone, I had some personal things to deal with, and they all seem to have settled down now. For anyone who is interested - it seems 'I'm back baby!!' :)

A link to the fabulous interview Rosie did on This Morning, with the judgemental Denise Robertson rolling her eyes till they almost fell out of her face!! Enjoy - its a very good interview. http://thismorning.itv.com/thismorning/life/affairs-keep-my-marriage-alive