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Showing posts from April, 2009

BBC Radio 5 Live Interview

Here's the link to my interview on the radio yesterday. Its running on i player for 6 days now, after that - unlucky!!!! :) http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00k1ym9/Victoria_Derbyshire_29_04_2009/ Enjoy, would love to hear your comments xx

Effort......

I just received a really cute email from a man who is clearly trying to stand out from the crowd :) Its good that some men are finally learning that making an effort with their mails and their profiles make all the difference :) Well done Sam, keep up the good work xxx ******************************** His email to me :) Your eyes Your eyes - they don't say "come to bed", They, if you'll beg my pardon, Say, "Get your kit off straight away, We'll do it in the garden!" ******************************** His profile :) Ideal Partner: Anyone in a similar situation to me who can read the following rubbish without being totally put off! Honest, open-minded and discreet are the adjectives that spring to mind. General Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I find myself on-line, To find someone, (perhaps it's you?), With whom to spend some time. Now here's the bit we all dislike, I must sell me to you, I'm tall, dark, handsome, have a plane, A Porsche and si

Oh no he didn't........

OH yes he did!! I went out the other night, dinner and drinks with a fabulous man - or so I thought! Marketing manager, talented, intelligent, interesting, funny, kind - or so I thought! Polite, gentlemanly? Not so much, but I assumed he was laid back and not trying too hard to be something he wasn't. I like classy men, men with great manners but I don't like men who force it just because they think its expected. So I accepted him the way he was, I didn't figure bad manners would surface on a first date - or so I thought! We met in a small village, with just one restaurant, so we decided to grab a bite to eat while we had a drink. He walked in to the building ahead of me, and let the door go in my face. Thanks! I turned towards the bar only to see him make a bee-line for a table and sit down. He waited until I was as dry as a bedouins flip flop and then let me pay for the first drink, not a great start, but then again I'm not obsessed with who pays for what.

Lotharios.....

I normally meet men on the Internet, that is what I do best and I get to know 'the person' before I am subjected to his dreadful flirting skills or bad manners, but on occasions I am approached 'in the real world' and I am concerned at how many confident Lotharios are out there, using Dutch courage to approach women. I was sitting alone in a crowded, noisy bar the other day. I was reading a book and sipping a drink, occasionally glancing at my watch. I was waiting for my friend and it was obvious I was busy. Nearby, a group of red-faced, middle-aged men in suits were getting stuck into their third or fourth round of drinks. They had been getting steadily louder and more raucous. Once in a while, one of them would glance over to check me out, then turn back and make a comment to his pals, then they would guffaw with drunken laughter. I was making heroic efforts to ignore them. Eventually, to my horror, one of them got up. 'Oh please god no, please don't co

A Spanish lesson .......

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: No one but their creator understands their internal logic The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval As soon as you make a commitment to

Another additon 2 .......

I've decided to have my Serial Mistress blog for the normal blogging, views, funnies, questions, interesting facts and general musings, the Agony Mistress blog is for any problems or issues anyone has with regard to affairs, illicit encounters and relationships, and I'm creating the X Rated Mistress for more 'detailed' posts about my own encounters, past, present or future. I'd love you to follow all three and of course contribute in any way you would like. I love your comments, I love your emails and I love your support. The X Rated version of my blog will be created over the next couple of days but I'd love to hear suggestions for the name of it. X Rated just seems a bit 'boring' :) So, Serial Mistress, Agony Mistress and ???????? Mistress, what's it to be? :)

Nine Words Women Use.....

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the match before helping around the house. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! Loud Sigh : This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will

My new addition.......

http://agonymistress.blogspot.com/ I have decided to start a new blog to run alongside my current one. Since I have started this journey talking about my lifestyle and my experiences I have been emailed with several questions relating to all things 'Illicit'. I have decided, therefore, to offer an outlet for people who are having some problems with their affairs, be it emotional, logistical, physical or sexual. I hope my current followers will follow my new blog, and possibly share any problems they might have experienced, in order to help others. I have had permission from those who have contacted me already to reproduce their original questions and my subsequent answers. I hope this helps anyone currently struggling with their choices, or even just the logistical problems involved in hiding their affairs. Please feel free to follow and certainly to contribute. I look forward to hearing from you all xxxxxx

On a lighter note......

To Be 6 Again... A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife

Mortified........

But it was to be expected. It was only going to be a matter of time before it happened, my lifestyle seen through the eyes of a man doing what I do, but has he been criticised? No. Because, we've always found in this country - a man who sleeps around or looks for no strings fun is a stud, a hero, a man to be patted on the back, (or in this case is helping the married women he sleeps with) but a woman who lives her life as she wants to, not necessarily sleeping around, but dating men, married or single, seeing who she wants when she wants, is criticised, slated and denounced as a home wrecker, a tart, a gold digger, a bitch. How does this happen? Why does this happen? I thought in this day and age, with women being far more sexually liberated, and able to make her own life choices, she wouldn't bear the brunt of peoples anger towards Illicit Encounters, affairs or flings, but sadly that isn't the case. Admittedly the article I'm referring to is very well written, much

Lifestyle.........

I've had a fantastic few weeks, meeting a couple of new people who are just amazing and will be friends for a very long time, catching up with a couple of guys I used to know but lost touch, and the press and blog have brought them back into my life, feeling much better about other things that have been going on in my life, and getting more work done than I anticipated, which is always a bonus. This lifestyle wouldn't suit everyone, and a few friends have questioned my strength and motive for living this way, but I am thoroughly enjoying myself at the moment, can honestly say I am happy and I love everything about my life right now. I look around me and see the death and destruction of relationships, the sadness of break ups, the heartache of boredom and disappointment that this is 'how its going to be', the defeat in the faces of those I love when they realise their lives are as good as they will ever get, friends aging and trying desperately to hold onto their looks,

Chatting up men......

I am sometimes asked by women how I manage to date great men, how, once I've attracted them on the site, I manage to get to the point of meeting them, and always find the good guys. I had a good think about this and figured it must be my approach, my forthright attitude, my confidence and I'm not shy or terrified of rejection. That clearly comes across, even in the form of typing on the net. While I was thinking about it I came upon an article that actually proves chatting up men is a science. Researchers are now studying the subject, so it must be important and true :) I thought I'd share their findings with you, and see if you guys agreed with it and had any advice for the girls who read my blog :) ******* Forget shy smiles and pointed small talk - the way to a man's heart is by giving him no room to misunderstand your intentions. Men favour a direct, no-nonsense approach when being chatted up by women. A recent study found that simple lines, such as 'Fanc

Personal Ads.....

This is to show that women have a sense of humour and can dish it out about ourselves just as much as the men can throw it at us :) But I thought it might help the guys on IE looking for their perfect woman :) Women's Personal Ads 40 ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious smile - Takes a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Fun - Annoying New age - Body hair in the wrong places Open minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Profession

Zen Teachings.....

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. No one is listening until you fart. Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Some days yo

Cop out .......

Sorry for the funnies, but sometimes a girl just can't resist a smile while she's concocting the next episode of her blog :)

Ladies over 40......

For all those women over 40 who need a smile and all those men who just don't appreciate older women :) In case you missed it on '60 Minutes', this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40: 60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS) As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Wo

Good or bad boys.......

According to the ancient art of face reading apparently its easy to spot a good boy or a bad boy, a cheater or a stayer. I'm not so sure, but it was interesting reading all the same. I wonder if the married men who follow my blog would agree with some of this? :) Bad boy - Cold eyes - If he's got a cold, steely gaze then he's the predatory type. He enjoys the thrill of the chase and won't let anything stop him getting what he wants. Good boy - Twinkly eyes - Men with sparkly eyes that crinkle at the corners or laughter lines indicate that he's warm, friendly and isn't afraid of showing his emotions. Bad boy - Thin lips - Men with thin lips tend to be more interested in sex than emotions. If his top lip is thinner than his bottom lip, he'll struggle to commit to just one woman. Good boy - Full lips - Full, rounded lips show that he's caring, sensitive and good at communicating his feelings. He also generous with his time – and his money! Bad boy - Water

Balance of power.......

My lifestyle is different, different from my friends lives, different from the norm, different from the expected and at the moment it is suiting me very well. I have spent most of my dating life stressing over men, whether they will call, whether they like me, whether they are going to be around in a week, a month, a year, and whether they actually want me. Just as I see my friends now, worrying about what his lack of communication means, why he won't meet her friends, why he's 'working so hard', why it feels like he's so busy he must be running the world, why the gym is more important than a date, why the football takes priority, and why the excuses seem plentiful, I realise there is an uneven balance of power in most relationships. Women are, by nature, the submissive sex, they are patient, more tolerant and understanding, therefore the power tends to be with the man, when he wants sex he will make the effort, when he doesn't need sex everything on the plane

Crossing the line..........

Further to the 'annoying' texts in the middle of the night, and subsequent dumping in my previous blog, thankfully all went quiet. This was just what I hoped for, and, as a married man I figured he'd have the sense to let it lie there. Sadly he didn't. Why will men never learn? Married men shouldn't cause grief for their lover, she doesn't deserve it. Married men should never cross the line of decency and good manners because she doesn't deserve it. And married men should never be hideous, inconsiderate and just plain rude because she doesn't deserve it. That 'she' being me on this occasion? He really should have learned not to mess with me! :) Intelligent, strong willed, feisty women are the LAST people a married man should mess with lol . My god, I sound like Glenn Close, that won't do me any favours, but let me give you the background. I got a text message this afternoon reading 'I got yr nmba off a guy in the pub who sed u may be up

Rules.........

I know, as a mistress, I have to abide by certain rules, rules laid down in stone by the married man. Don't call me after 5. Don't text me at the weekend. Don't make any marks on me. Don't contact me till I contact you. Don't wear perfume when I see you. Don't expect me to be around for evenings if I have said daytime only. Don't leave any blonde hairs in my car when you get out of it. Don't get lipstick on my suit. Don't expect too much from me - I'm married, and many more. Those are all rules I'm more than happy to abide by, after all I'm a mistress and I know the rules, backwards! I understand a married man has a lot to lose, and the mistress has to know her place in his life, and not be reckless enough to cause him any stress or hassle. If he is her only lover then he knows he can make rules that she will happily work with, but what is the situation when his mistress is conducting more than one affair? Why am I now mentioni

Interesting....

What a day I had. Doubt I could ever get used to this, and all the celebrities in this world are welcome to it! :) I have to admit the photographer was fantastic, very easy to work with, and who knows what the pics will come out like. The makeup artist was nuts, and that adds to the experience. Four hours for outfit changes, make up, fannying with hair and several photos, and by the end of it I was exhausted. They are working on Kerry Katona today, so fingers crossed I was easier to work with :) I still have to pinch myself that any of this is happening to me, but although I'm leaving myself wide open (so to speak) for criticism, I'm figuring that all publicity is good publicity, and if I bring this subject to the fore then I will be happy, and like I've said before, creating debate (hopefully not masturbate) is only a good thing. If I am Marmite, either loved or hated, then so be it. Marmite seems to be doing well from it :) I'm blogging later, with a few things that