Thursday, 11 November 2010

Totally irrelevant but I had to post it ........

This has nothing to do with this blog, but my, it did make me smile when I read it. How times have changed :)


"And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's !

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos. Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on a Sunday, somehow we didn't starve to death! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter & drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY, no video/dvd films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents. Only girls had pierced ears! We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time. We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet because we didn’t need to keep up with the Jones’s!

Not everyone made the rugby/football/cricket/netball team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT!

Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and throw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren’t concentrating .

We can string sentences together and spell and have proper conversations because of a good, solid three R’s education.

Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla' and 'Tiger'

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL ! CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were!

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Is he a cheat?...

Do you suspect your man is playing away? I'm asked all the time how to spot the signs if he isn't happy at home and is looking elsewhere. Lipstick on his collar is no longer the only way to catch him out.
  1. He ignores texts: No one ignores texts. Especially not men: they get so few that every beep elicits a Pavlovian rummage in the jeans to check if a) Spurs have scored or b) a parent has died. Not checking it suggests he knows who sent it - especially if it arrives at a weird time. And is he rejecting a lot of calls? Or has he stopped casually leaving his phone on the coffee table? Worry.
  2. His dandruff has come back: Not cast-iron proof on its own (unless you DNA-test it and find it isn't his). But think about it: dry scalps can be easily treated with medical tinctures. But not if he's showered away from his own bathroom a couple of times. Unfamiliar shampoo - whether it be her Pantene or the watery stuff in a cheap hotel - will bring fresh flurries of flakes.
  3. He's better groomed: Nothing as blatant as, say, a new haircut. Instead, look for more 'private' grooming - like finally tackling that thicket of chest hair. Or the old schoolboy trick of trimming his pubic hair near the base of his penis to make it seem larger. You know how big it is already - who's he trying to impress?
  4. His mobile is squeaky clean: Of course, only the most paranoid lunatic checks her mans phone for clues're holding it right now? Oh, right! Check the sent folder. Has he left his flirtations in there? Congratulations - you're married to an idiot. But if he's emptied it, that's just as suspicious. Now look at his call history. Some men think they're showing Jason Bourne-level cunning if they list their bit-on-the-side under a man's name - check for multiple calls to 'Dave'. And if he's deleted his history, you have to ask....... why?
  5. His house is tidier: (Obviously if you don't live together.) Men, as you'll be aware, rarely change bed sheets - usually only when they need shattering with a toffee hammer. But illicit sex leaves stains and smells. So look out for fresh sheets on an unusually regular basis, or an incongruous bottle of Febreze. And if you're married - if he EVER changes the sheets, there's something amiss. Men are incapable of that chore in the house.
  6. He's less hassle: Is he suddenly very chilled out about where you are and who you're with? How refreshing! Is he no longer bothered you've stayed out late? What a liberal attitude. And is he seeing more of his own friends - but with elaborate reasons for doing so? Hmmm, funny that.
  7. He calls more: A benefit, you may think - but these are just on-the-hoof exchanges of pleasantries. Why? Because you're on his mind, for starters. But more importantly, he's just checking you are where you said you'd be and not about to land on his doorstep.
  8. He's poorer: As Tiger Woods would no doubt testify, affairs are expensive. Not only is he paying for meals, drinks and hotel rooms to impress his new flame, he might also be buying gifts for you to ease his guilt. or maybe he does just prefer the Tesco Value range for his weekly shop.
  9. He's chubbier: Different from normal weight gain, is he carrying extra timber? Affairs tend to involve drinking and eating out, as well as skipping 'gym time' for a rendezvous. The phrase 'love handles' may never be more apt.
  10. Your sex life gets better: Unhelpfully contradictory, yes. But is he suddenly trying a new position or foreplay technique? Then he's either learnt it from YouPorn - or someone is teaching him. Or you could just have a great guy who wants your sex life to sizzle.

I've been away.....

This is just a brief note to those who have been dedicated enough to keep following me during my silence over the recent months. I appreciate you all for sticking with me. A blogger who doesn't blog is of no interest to anyone, but hopefully I will now be able to hold your attention for a little longer, and blog entertaining (and educational) posts. A great deal has been happening in my personal life, and more details will be forthcoming soon, but in the meantime, and interspersed between the personal episodes, I will post some interesting bits and pieces about infidelity, relationships, facts, and anecdotes. You all deserve far more from me, and hopefully the quiet time, I was forced to embark on recently, will become more exciting by the day. I will give you lots to read, lots to comment on, lots to learn, lots to laugh about and hopefully lots to follow avidly. And, as usual, I will invite all of your comments about what I write, good and bad, and any stories of your own you wish to share.

Thank you all again for your continuing support and I hope my blog makes for good reading again very soon xxx

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Up Close and Personals....

I'm appearing in the Observer newspaper today, in their Online Dating special section. I haven't seen it 'in the flesh' just yet, I refuse to go looking for a newsagent at 12.30 am :) Thank goodness for online newspapers! :)

Check out the article. It's nothing major, and most of my followers will know the story, but its nice to see its not the typical 'mistress bashing' article.

Anyone who wants to visit my profile - if you haven't already - is welcome to check me out. I'm on Illicit Encounters as Yesgirl. Not your usual profile, but it seems to work for me :)

More blogging to come soon, and I'll explain why I've been ridiculously slack with my posts.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend xxxx

Monday, 9 August 2010

Tut tut Mr Crouch....

Yet another footballer hits the headlines. This time he's playing away with a hooker. And yet again we can hear the entire country take a sharp intake of breath, tut and ask why? His girlfriend is one of the most beautiful women in the public eye, I don't know a man who wouldn't want to be with her, not just because she's stunning, but because she has a fabulous personality, sense of humour and understands the offside rule. Naturally we don't know what the situation is at home, and to be honest we still don't know if his indiscretion is actually true, but we are all wondering what would possess a man to play around with a hooker when he has a model girlfriend at home. He was, of course, the man who, when asked 'If you weren't a footballer, what would you be?' replied 'A virgin'. A classic line, but surely he's not short of offers now, so the press were struggling to work out why he decided to play away with a prostitute.

I understand why a man plays away, probably better than most, but the questions are still asked when a celebrity hits the headlines.

Anyway, thanks to Mr Crouch, Rosie from IllicitEncounters, and I, were busy doing interviews about the subject. And, as usual, the phone in programmes were incredibly popular, with many men confessing to affairs, and many women condemning the mistress. I, yet again, fought my corner pretty well.

Here is a link to Alex Bellfield, Radio Leeds from this morning. He tried to shake me, and even, at one point, referred to me as no better than a murderer - I love the shock tactics they attempt to use - but I handled it well and did my bit.

Enjoy the show. The whole interview is on from about 6 minutes into the show. Let me know what you think of the subject, and what your views are on the difference between an affair and seeing a prostitute.

Friday, 6 August 2010

Adrian's show....

Good old Adrian, and TalkSport - yet another cracking show about sex and relationships - specifically circumcision this morning. Thoroughly enjoyed the chat. For all the new visitors to my site I thought I'd post a few links for you to follow, and invite you to email me or follow me on Facebook.

My email address is

The link to my Facebook profile and my Twitter account are down the right hand side of this and the following posts. Please feel free to add me. And the links to my other blogs are also listed.

Thank you for visiting and if you have any problems, or comments you wish to make, please feel free to mail me.

Now I'm off to bed at this unearthly hour!! :)

Night night xxx

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Things you never want to hear on a date...

After my recent dating experiment, I decided to share with you the definitive list of lines you don't want to hear on a date...

  1. "Mum's waiting outside in the car."
  2. "Oh...... there's my ex in that bar. I think the restraining order has expired so it's fine, let's go in!"
  3. "Wow! You looked a lot thinner online. He would you look at that, my waist is smaller than yours."
  4. "Sorry about that. Broccoli gives me wind."
  5. "Committing has never been a problem for me. I've been married three times."
  6. "Double vodka on the rocks, please. On second thoughts - just bring me the bottle."
  7. "Right, now, you had an extra side order of asparagus, your dessert was £1.65 more, sooooo....."
  8. "I'm afraid we can't sleep together for six weeks - my penile implant is still very inflamed."
  9. "My anger management classes are going really well..... [to the waiter] NO, I DON'T WANT BLACK PEPPER!!!"
  10. "That girl over there has a banging body. How do you feel about threesomes?"
  11. "Do you like my man purse?"
  12. "It only burns when I pee."
  13. "I usually only date models. It's so refreshing to be with a real woman."
  14. "Condoms? I don't have any. That's your responsibility, right?"
  15. "Did you see Jeremy Kyle's show this morning?"

Feel free to add your own classic lines we never want to hear :)

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Interesting story today.....

I know it's not in Britain, but this article caught my eye. It seems the whole world is suing someone for something these days, but am I wrong to actually believe this woman has a point? I'd love to hear your comments on this, and if you think she was right or wrong.

Woman sues phone company after husband discovers affair through bill

A Canadian woman whose husband discovered she was enjoying some extra-marital activities thanks to her itemised phone bill, has decided to sue the company responsible.

Gabriella Nagy is after 600,000 Canadian dollars (£405,475) from Rogers Wireless, claiming invasion of privacy and breach of contract.

The 35-year-old insists that she asked the company to send the bill in her name to her home but it was sent out under her husband's name, along with the television, Internet and home phone bills.

His suspicions were aroused when he noticed an unknown number appearing somewhat frequently on the bill and, when he called, the man on the other end admitted that he had been having a three-week affair with Ms Nagy.

But rather than take responsibility for the subsequent break-up of their marriage, Ms Nagy lays the blame firmly at the door of Rogers Wireless.

"I entrusted them with my personal information," she told Canwest News Service, as she moaned that the company had "breached my privacy".

Rogers though, replied saying the couple had asked for the bills to be consolidated.

"We cannot be responsible for the personal decisions made by our customers," a Rogers spokesman said.

"The marriage breakup and its effects happened, or alternatively, would in any event have happened, regardless of the form in which the plaintiff and her husband received their invoices."

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

BRMB Radio interview....

Here's the podcast of the radio interview I did on Monday night/Tuesday morning on the late night show called The Sanctuary with Caroline Martin. It was lovely having time to say my piece, she gave me a good 40 mins to talk, without interrupting, which makes a change. I only waffled a bit, which also makes a change! :)

Hope you enjoy it, but make sure you settle down with a coffee or a glass of wine before you listen to it.

Saturday, 15 May 2010


I have to apologise for the break in normal services, but I simply had to write a piece about the evil nastiness I have just had to tolerate on here. This blog is meant to be fun, it is meant to be a small insight into my life, and meant to be for people to read and take as seriously as they like. I am leaving myself wide open to be criticised for what I do with my life, how I date, who I date and how I write. I am not here to be openly crucified for how my life has turned out, including my financial situation and my health. Those matters are nothing to do with the people who read this blog. It is about my relationships, my dating preferences and, on occasion, sex. It is nothing to do with whether I pay my electricity bill or have two days in hospital and why.

So, for those ignorant, judgemental, self-righteous critics who have taken it upon themselves to leave nasty comments, I apologise for not being as perfect as you clearly are. I live my life how I see fit. I live within my limitations, and I live how I have been forced to live, by circumstances I wouldn't wish on anyone, including your sad, bitter, twisted selves. I would love to see you live my life for 10 minutes and see how critical and nasty you are then!! The incredibly hilarious, but sad, part of the vitriolic attack I have received is, whoever you are - and if you know me so well why don't you say it to my face?? - you have spent literally hours tracking down photographs of me, reading my blog, and planning your bitter comments. I find it very satisfying that my life is so full, my life is exciting and fun, yet you are trawling the Internet to find more and more information about me and my life. Who is the sad lonely one there?

After seeking legal advice I, unfortunately, had to delete the comments, and moderate any comments from now on. I'm disappointed about that, because I have always happily welcomed any comments from anyone reading my blog, whether positive, negative, funny, reassuring, or critical. I have taken every piece of criticism of my lifestyle on the chin, but I have never had to face slanderous, ill-informed comments about my finances or health. Everyone is welcome to leave comments, and I will always post them, so long as they are not slanderous or libellous. Whoever the people are, feeling my private life is there to be criticised, should contact me directly, you obviously know me, even though you don't know any facts. Please feel free to email me or phone me and tell me EXACTLY how you feel. But if you are so consumed with anger towards me, maybe you need to have a drink, chill out a little, and realise that no one on this planet is worth so much anger. It will give you a headache, or worse, carrying so much hatred with you.

Let it go, life is too short, but you know where I am if you want to get it off your chest. The fact that you are so consumed by it for so very long is really quite disturbing. I apologise to my genuine followers and readers because your comments will now be moderated, but you are always more than welcome to comment, all will be published. And secondly, I deleted a couple of lovely comments by mistake, so you're welcome to leave them again, and thank you to everyone for supporting my blog and making it all worthwhile.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Date 3/7

Name: Brian
Age: 43
Job: Warehouse Manager
Marital Status: Single but fake married - explanation following
Venue: Coffee shop

Coffee only, as I try to do when I'm not completely sure about someone. I wondered why he jumped at the chance and didn't ask me to lunch or dinner - the real gentlemen always do - but it all became clear the longer we chatted, he clearly wasn't one for paying for things. We met at 1.30 at a cute little coffee shop in town. It closely resembles a private Starbucks with flavoured lattes, stunningly presented cappuccinos and hot chocolate to die for, with all the toppings you could dream of, like something from Willy Wonka's factory. I left him to order my coffee, gingerbread latte, and found us a table. When they were delivered to us mine was a work of art and he had a plain black coffee with a jug of cold milk. Each to their own I thought and we started the process of getting to know each other.

Online he had been interesting, he asked a lot of questions and when I answered he seemed to agree with almost everything I said. I thought this was a sign of a good choice, someone I would have a connection with, lots to talk about, everything in common, but no, apparently it meant he had no thoughts of his own, he was just a Yes Man - and not in the good 'Danny Wallace' way. He agreed to everything I said online hoping I would meet him, and I guess it worked. While we were chatting face to face we covered some of the subjects we had already discussed online. Strangely enough his answers altered dramatically.

Me: I love to travel abroad. I love warm holidays but not just lounging around on a beach endlessly. I love to explore where I am visiting, learn some of the language, try the local delicacies, experience the culture and the people of the country.
Him Online: Oh me too, I love travelling.
Him In person: I've never been abroad in my life (he's 43) and never will. We've got enough in this country to explore and I don't have to eat that foreign food, its shite! (How would he know if he's never tried it?). The places are full of foreigners and they don't bother to learn English which annoys the hell out of me!

Me: I love to try new things, from every corner of the world. I love Indian, Chinese, Mexican, Thai, any kind of food. I love variety, spices and interesting flavours.
Him Online: Oh me too, I love trying new things, maybe we should try a few new things together. I'd love to take you somewhere exotic for a meal.
Him In person: I hate foreign food. I like English food. I don't ever go to foreign restaurants. I've never tasted curry or Chinese in my life and have no intention of starting now. I like plain food, and well cooked too, I can't understand anyone wanting their steak raw, or that fish thing that's raw, yeuch!! (Sushi!)

Me: I love being single, having my own space. I love my life the way it is, but there is always space for someone else to join in, so long as they don't take over or expect me to change. I love hugs and being close to someone though, you can't beat intimacy.
Him Online: I'm married, we'd need to be discreet, I want to meet once or twice a week.
Him In person: I'm not married at all, I'm actually single but I didn't think you'd want to meet me if I was 43 and single. I still live with my mum, but I can't ever imagine living alone. What's the point anyway? I get everything done for me, all my cooking, cleaning, washing etc, and she even wakes me up for work in the mornings.

It seemed we weren't getting off to a good start, so I tried to change the subject, hoping to find something we did have in common. We landed on the city of York and discussed how much we like architecture and history. At last something we could talk about, but it was purely to get me through the second coffee I had ordered and paid for, mine a sticky toffee cappuccino, his plain again. At this point I asked him why he liked it plain and didn't want to try something different, I was almost anticipating the answer. 'Oh I don't like that fancy muck, why mess with coffee?' And there it was! :)

Steering us back to the subject of York he suggested we visited the city together. I smiled, trying not to run away screaming that I'd rather rip off my own arm and beat myself about the head with the bloody stump! I didn't say no chance, which wasn't good of me, but I knew I would never be seeing York with this man! 'It's only 30 minutes on the train from me', I said, 'Not too far from my nearest station'. He laughed at me and said he would never get on a train, and he much preferred the bus. Apparently it takes just over two hours to get there from his house. Who CHOOSES to sit on a bus for two hours when it can be done in a quarter of the time? He said he had never been on a train and never would! There's a surprise!! And I had to avoid saying 'Never been on a train, but I bet you've collected lots of their numbers in your spiral bound pad!!' :)

He's 43 for gods sake!! How has he never been on a train?

Half way through a sentence, while I was telling him about my work, he checked his watch for the fifth time, he then announced he had to leave, before I even had chance to finish it. He had apparently set aside an hour for a coffee. We had sat together for exactly 59 minutes. I hadn't realised I was on the clock, so I never did finish my sentence. We parted company, he kissed me on the cheek and said 'I look forward to seeing you again. Thanks for the coffee and lets do York soon!' I smiled and turned to walk in the opposite direction when I heard him shout across the street 'Oy Karen, don't forget about us doing the sex too!!' I spun round faster than a gyroscope with my mouth wide open and said 'What??' I expected him to smile and say 'Joking' but instead he actually repeated himself, even louder this time. 'We'll do York and have lots of sex soon, you're really hot!!' There he was, right in the middle of the street, in the centre of the town where I live, the pretty market town, full of tourists and visitors. I was mortified that anyone would have so few social skills, but there he was, addressing me, in the middle of the street!! I walked over to him and asked the question that had been coursing around my head for the 59 minutes we had been together.

'Are you behaving like this, with no social etiquette, and contradicting everything we had discussed online, in the hope that you would put me off? Did you decide from the start you didn't like me and did everything you could to turn me off you? ' I asked.
'Hell no, of course not, you're exactly how I imagined you and even better. I really want to see you again. I think you're lovely and can't wait to get started with the sex. I've not had it for ages and want to fuck you so much. If it means having a trip to York before, just to keep you sweet, then so be it.'

I was speechless and repulsed by his reply. I smiled sarcastically while I shook my head in disbelief and turned to leave. I walked back to my car, still speechless, shaking my head as I went, not quite believing that I had met someone like that. About two hours later, after several texts from him reinforcing his feelings for me and begging to see me again, I decided to let him down gently, and not keep him dangling any longer, I could so easily have ignored him for ever more but I thought better of it. My text was simple and to the point 'Thanks for meeting me today. After thinking about it for a while I've realised we're not really suited, and you're not what I'm looking for. There's no point in leading you on and I didn't feel the chemistry was right. I hope you find what you're looking for. I'm sure you will x'

His text came back almost immediately. 'FUCK YOU!!!!' was the reply. Oh my, another man who can't handle rejection, but I don't know what made him think his behaviour was acceptable enough for me to want to see him again. I didn't think it would come as much of a surprise to be frank.

I wasn't remotely concerned with his reply. I laughed. But I was more concerned about his initial approach and it made me realise how things are changing. I have spent my dating life talking to single men, or so I thought, who were hiding the wife and two kids. Men's marital status has been hidden for years, in pubs and clubs, at work, and now online. I joined Illicit Encounters to steer away from that deception, by knowing exactly where you are. With a married man, there are no surprises, we all know where we stand, what the boundaries are, and what we are all looking for. It's bizarre that dating has come to this. I know I advocate dating married men and always voice a good argument for the benefits it holds for all parties, including my famous line 'Single men my age haven't really got a lot to offer' but never in my wildest dreams did I think I would experience a single man pretending to be married in order to find himself a date. Is that what the world has come to? Its quite funny when you think about it, or is it sad? We had married men lying on dating sites to pull women, and now we have to contend with single guys lying too. Mind you, I can see why he was lying, and why he has never been married, or ever will be if he carries on with his charm offensive! :)

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Date 2/7

Name: Ethan
Age: 40
Job: Police Officer
Marital Status: Separated
Venue: Coffee Shop

My god he's delicious!!! Unbelievably delicious!!! I could have eaten him up, there and then! His pictures hadn't done him justice at all. It was almost as if I'd seen a silhouette but not the complete person, an outline version of the man rather than the coloured in version, but once the smile spread across his gorgeous face, and his piercing blue eyes sparkled for the first time, he came to life. He was better than I could have hoped for, and it made me realise the phrase 'One woman's trash is another's treasure' is absolutely true. He split from his wife just over two months ago. They both decided it wasn't working and he hadn't been happy for ten years. I have to admit this is the only reservation I have. Some men split and hate being alone so much they replace their partner with someone who makes them feel safe and secure again. Some split and replace her with the exact opposite, the anti-wife, just to see if that works and was what was wrong all along, and some split then spread their wild oats, screwing everything and anything showing interest. So far I haven't worked out which he is, and obviously a few more dates will help me figure it out, but I think I'll have to be incredibly reserved with this one, and keep my emotions under control. I have a feeling it could get carried away very quickly for both of us.

This is a whole new dating experience for me too, and most of you will laugh when I say this, but he doesn't own a mobile phone!! He is the only person I know who doesn't have one. My ten year old godson has one. My 82 year old mother has one. Everyone in between has one. So its a totally new experience not relying on text messages to do my talking. I got stuck behind a very slow moving tractor on my way to our date, but had the uncomfortable problem of not being able to tell him I was going to be late. I nearly broke my neck, and my car, to get to him as quickly as possible so he didn't think I'd stood him up, but it made me realise that with this guy I might actually have to get off my arse and be early for once in my life, and that's not a bad thing! I was also amazed at how relaxed I was about not hearing from him immediately after the date. Normally I get a text to say 'Thanks for a great time, can't wait to see you again' etc. I'm incredibly polite too, and always say 'Thank you for dinner/drinks/the movie' etc. because my mum always taught me to say my thank you's! But on this occasion I couldn't. He had to go home to catch up on his sleep because he was in the middle of his two night shifts, so I didn't expect to hear anything from him, especially as he looked so shattered, but I guess that was partly my fault. I'd kept him up till 6am a couple of nights earlier, and he'd only had about three hours sleep in the space of 36. So I willingly let him head home after six espressos and three hours of my company.

He was fabulous though, and just how I love my men. I suppose this experiment is helping me establish what my 'type' is and I've figured I have two. Outside those two I simply can't seem to find anything that works for me. Type number 1. seems to be the business man. Suited and booted, highly intelligent, lots of responsibility, suave, sophisticated, charming, who knows how to treat a lady properly. Type number 2. is my Action Man. Tall, rugged, manly, with a heroic, manly job, good morals, strong arms, a broad chest, the sort of guy who would ride in on a white charger and rescue the damsel in distress. He may not be as sophisticated as number 1 but he makes the girl feel safe and secure, well and truly protected.

Sometimes when I look at my types I realise number 2 is actually what I'm looking for but they are very rare. It's a very fine line between Action Man and Neanderthal Man, skimming the shagpile with his knuckles and grunting. It's a fine balance of testosterone between gentlemanly and cavemanly. But this time I have found the former, completely. He's ex-forces, a sergeant major no less, and I can just imagine him shouting at his troops and being a true leader in combat. He has retired from the army and is now a police officer, upholding the law and cleaning our dangerous streets of druggies and criminals, to make it safer for women to go out at night. Swoon!!! What a hero!! He's done his bit for the country abroad and now he's doing his bit at home. Two uniforms in two jobs, which apparently he still has! Throw in a play fireman's uniform and I may just wet my pants while I write this!

The lovely thing is, besides being manly, heroic and in a uniform, he's a genuinely nice bloke! I hate that word. It's so non-descriptive. It doesn't say anything about a person apart from 'I'd trust him to look after my goldfish if I went on holiday', there are a million more adjectives I would use to describe him but these days, especially on the Internet, there don't seem to be many nice people around. He's polite, he's easy going, funny, clever, sweet, kind, considerate, affectionate, tactile, he seems honest so far, which in my line of work is a true rarity, and he has a stack of morals that any man would struggle to peer over. He loves his daughter and spends a lot of time with her, especially since he left his wife. He's sweet and kind to total strangers, he opens doors for women. He won't let the lady pay, not even for a coffee on the first date. And to top all these fantastic things - he's a truly great kisser!!

What are the downsides I can hear you cry? No one is perfect! And you're right, no one ever is. He's above my usual height requirement by two inches, but I don't know whether it was the six inch heels I was wearing, or the fact that everything was just right, but I didn't feel dwarfed by him. He didn't crack any 'small' jokes, which is rare for a giant. He didn't appear condescending or patronising and never once spoke to me like a child, so I hardly noticed the 14 inch height difference. The only other negative point - he smokes, but he only smoked two in the three hours we were together. He made sure he stood down wind of me, purposely considering where I was and positioning himself where the smoke wouldn't affect me at all, he didn't smell like an old ashtray, and I didn't notice anything when he kissed me, so I can't see it becoming a problem. He's certainly not a 40 a day kinda guy, and the odd one I could probably cope with.

So, as tick boxes go, well I've pretty much scored a full house with this one, and couldn't be happier. I can be a little more chilled out with the phone situation, he lives about ten minutes away, he's not looking for marriage and babies, so I can let my guard down about him being a single man, and he doesn't do one night stands, so I can relax about potentially being used. I'm not going to count any chickens, even though it is Spring, but I am going to say I'm very pleasantly surprised after this particular date.

So as future dates go, I'd simply say watch this space.......

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Date 1/7

Name: Glen
Age: 38
Job: Health and Safety Consultant
Marital Status: Married
Venue: Coffee Shop

Not exactly the date I had anticipated. It started very well but slid down the slippery slope at a rate of knots. We were meeting for a coffee as he was passing on his way home. He had been incredibly keen to get me on my own, and of course the horny vibe had been well and truly waved in my face, like a big pink rabbit. I had tried my hardest to calm his ardour while we were chatting online, but I knew he would be quite a handful in person. I was determined to meet him somewhere very public, hoping he would keep his hands to himself, but sometimes a public setting just gives a man like him an extra challenge!

He arrived a few minutes early and waited in the car park, texting me impatiently to hurry up. He was increasingly desperate to meet me, but as always, at the back of my mind, I was thinking he was more interested in putting his hand up my skirt rather than meeting ME!

I got out of my car and watched him stride across the car park, admittedly not looking immaculate because he'd been working, but we can't all look amazing at the end of a 10 hour day. He looked fab enough though. He was exactly like his picture, minus the tan, but we all get that Daz bluey-whiteness to our skin at this time of the year. He had that sexy salt and pepper hair, stunning eyes and his smile to die for broadly greeted me, very pleased that I had finally arrived. He had sent me a text earlier in the week, wondering if we would kiss before or after our date, whether we would kiss straight away to 'break the ice', and although I had avoided the question and had made no promises, I did like the idea of kissing him, he was very sexy! So, before he even checked that I was happy to do it, he scooped me up and kissed me, gently at first, then passionately, firmly pushing me against my car. What a great kisser. It was delightful. I would have been more than happy kissing him for the next hour but we had gone there for a coffee, and I wanted a chance to get to know him without his face stuck to mine.

I finally managed to prise him off me and suggested we went inside. He was very tactile, lovely in fact. He took my hand to walk into the coffee shop and put his arm around me in the queue. Normally I would feel uncomfortable with someone being so 'overly familiar' but for some bizarre reason it felt nice. He was easy and so very comfortable to be around. I felt as if I had known him for years.

He bought the coffees and we settled comfortably into a huge, squishy, leather sofa. His hand casually landed on my thigh and we started to chat. In between subjects I received intermittent kisses and the occasional cheeky, but gentle, brush of my thigh or breast, it all seemed to be going very well. The coffee shop was very quiet but he still turned to me so no one could see his hand as he touched, and then squeezed, my breast. It was remarkably bold of him, and I checked around to see if anyone had noticed this brazen behaviour. I moved my arm so he couldn't do it again, partly because I had only just met him and it felt bizarre to be getting touched up in a coffee shop, but also because I actually quite liked it and didn't want it to go too far too soon. We had already checked our diaries and made sure we were free later that week, if the coffee went well. It seemed to be doing at that point.

We chatted about our own situations, what we were looking for, how we hoped it would work out, and that, unfortunately, brought us to the subject of his wife. His smile disappeared, his annoyance seemed to surface on his face, and he then proceeded to tell me, for 20 minutes, about how his marriage wasn't working, what a bitch she was, how awful his life was, how she expected him to jump every time she spoke, and how this was the start of the new him, he wasn't going to be at her beck and call anymore. I naturally encouraged him, I didn't particularly want to be in a relationship with someone who was watched constantly, we all know that just leads to trouble. As the problems poured out, and he soaked up my advice like a sponge, making the most of my wisdom and experience in all infidelity matters, his phone rang. 'Oh shit, it's her, back in a sec' he said, and disappeared off to the front door of the coffee shop to talk to her.

Now as dates go, I don't normally get left on my own for any time. Dates are meant to be between two people, not three, and immediately the alarm bells started to ring. If he was prepared to talk about her endlessly, then take her call without a second thought, clearly this woman had her hand up his arse and was working him like a ventriloquists dummy! Several patient minutes later, I finished my coffee and sorted my bag to leave, when he appeared round the corner and said 'Sorry babe, I've got to go, she's checking up on me'. I sighed, decided it was actually for the best, and walked out to the car with him.

I thought he would have jumped in his car and headed off like a bat out of hell, but no, he decided he wanted another kiss, so he pushed me up against my car, held my face with both hands, apologised for her ruining what was a 'perfect date' and kissed me hard. I melted, it was lovely, complete bullshit, but lovely. I pulled him to me, kissed him back and then went to get in my car. 'Not yet,' he said, 'just another minute or two, I don't want to leave.' So we chatted for another few minutes, he was trying desperately to arrange another meeting, and then he kissed me again. This time his fingers took mine while his lips crushed my face. I thought he was just holding my hands, and he was, initially, but after a few seconds he was moving them rather than holding them. Yes you guessed it, towards his crotch. Men!! You never cease to amaze me! Normally men can be incredibly predictable when it comes to the crotch area, mid kiss, but this one actually shocked me. I expected to have my hand forced onto a fabric covered erection, to be pressed against it while he rubbed himself with my fingers, but I was oh so wrong!

My hand felt skin, and I actually jumped! I was so taken aback I physically recoiled. It was hilarious, and not like me at all, but I genuinely wasn't expecting to feel smooth skin! I laughed, and of course he took this to mean I was laughing at the size - which I certainly wasn't. I moved my hand away and said 'Too far Glen, we're in a public car park, next to a busy coffee shop, and there are people all over the place, I really can't do this'. I couldn't! Normally I'd be game for a laugh, especially if I fancied him, but this was so bold, so blatant and so insensitive that I simply didn't want to, especially after our date was being cut short by his overbearing wife. It turned this incredibly sexy, handsome man into a slightly desperate opportunist, and that is never remotely attractive.

I went to move away to get into my car and he pressed himself up against me again. 'Come on babe, lets go somewhere now, I fancy you so much, I want you' he begged. I shook my head and told him no, reminding him he was the one cutting the date short to go rushing off to the Mrs when she called! At that point the phone in his pocket burst into life again. Ohhhh saved by the bell I thought! 'You better get that, see you later, and it was lovely meeting you' I said. In a fairly swift movement he managed to get his phone out of one pocket and tuck his manhood back into its own little pocket, and yet again he was decent (if you could call him that!!).

I jumped in my car and said good bye and drove off, relieved that the situation had been disturbed, but equally disturbed that it was his wife, and his debauched behaviour, getting in the way. I had planned on mailing or sending a text the following day to see how he was but I didn't need to. Within ten minutes of me leaving him in the car park I got a text message saying 'Cock tease'. I was gobsmacked! Totally unbelievable considering he was the one with it hanging out of his trousers and I was running away! I've never known any cock tease to be running AWAY from a man! It didn't justify a reply so I left it where it was. I've had a couple of emails since asking how I am, but I decided, as much as I am experienced in being the mistress, I've never wanted to be part of a puppet show, especially when it involves a game of Punch and Judy, with the string of sausages, in the middle of a public car park!!

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Sex Around the World....

Some sex facts about some of the hottest countries in the world...

Spain - A survey of 15,000 women in 20 countries ranked Spanish men the best lovers in the world, followed by Brazilians, then Italians. Altogether now: Hola Senor!!

Brazil - Men in Brazil have had more partners in their lifetime - and more threesomes - than anyone else. Or maybe they're just the biggest liars.

USA - A whopping one in five Yanks has taken 'performance-enhancing pills' to help them along in the bedroom. That's a whole lot of Viagra.

Tunisia - Poor old Tunisians have to wait until they're 20 to get laid legally - compared to 13 in Spain.

Australia - Almost three quarters of all Aussie men have had sex in a car. So that's why the Sheila's Wheels women look so damned happy.

France - If you're looking for hot sex with a Frenchman, steer clear of fresh-faced youth - one in five 18 to 24-year-olds claims they have no interest whatsoever in sex or romance.

Greece - If you're a fan of chat, Greek gods are perfectly happy talking abut sex all day, and think kissing and hugging in public - not to mention talking dirty - is fine.

Portugal - If it's fast love you want, Portugal is the place to be - 81% of men admit to having had a one night stand.

South Korea - Across the world, men have sex, on average, 2.8 times a week - but in South Korea they manage a knee-trembling 4.5.

Italy - The average Italian stallion finds talking dirty the biggest turn-off in bed - but body odour only bothers a tiny 2% of young men there.

UK - British men have got plenty to boast about, too - our men spend longer on foreplay than those of any other nation.

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Sorry folks.......

OK. I'm back. The 7 dates were finished a few weeks ago, and I had written about them, but couldn't blog them. The 30 dates were planned and organised and then out of nowhere I got sick, ended up in hospital and was told to take it easy. Obviously, dating 30 men in 30 days is not exactly 'taking it easy' :) So, on the docs recommendation - and yes, he did know what I was doing, if he hadn't been gay he might have been roped in for a date :) - I promised to take it easy and now I am back to full fitness, as well as can be expected anyway, and I'm starting my 30 dates next week :)

So, please accept my apologies for not blogging lately, for not explaining what happened, and for making you all wait for the next exciting instalment of my crazy life :) I hope my blog posts over the next few weeks are interesting, exciting, funny and 'readable'. Thanks for sticking with me xxx

Thursday, 1 April 2010

It's started....

The seven dates in seven days started this week and, so far, all is going well. Watch this space though, it could all go horribly wrong :) Seven seemed a sensible quantity to break me in for the mammoth 30 dates later this month, but I'm actually looking forward to it now. There has been plenty of interest from various places, so this could be just what I was looking for :)

I promise I'll share every detail :)


Driver in hospital.....

I know it's nothing at all to do with my blog, but I simply had to share this info and wish him well. You will find below what happened to my cousin on Monday, thankfully he's going to be ok, but it was still incredibly scary for him, and I would say the picture should be used as an advert for Audi! How a horse managed to land on the car, go through the windscreen and not kill him is truly remarkable. He made it into the paper but not for good reasons :(

It's a miracle he walked away, and testament to the build quality of Audi cars!

And this was his car after the event :(

All my best wishes go out to him, and I hope he has a speedy recovery!

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Link to Vanessa's show....

Link to Vanessa's show earlier today, about the mistress sued by the wife.

On from about 42 mins (ish).

Vanessa's show .....

I was asked to do the Vanessa Feltz show on BBC London this morning, because the news had broken about the woman in America who sued the mistress for 'Alienation of affection' and won!! Outrageous story and I thank our legal system that this doesn't happen here. But is that because only American men are so gullible and easily led that they take no blame whatsoever for the breakdown of a marriage? Surely the mistress only plays a part, but as I have advocated for many many moons, so does the husband, AND the wife!! In my eyes, it has always been a fair three way split of the blame. Why only one person is apportioned the blame is simply beyond me. Unless this man was brainless, and made every decision with his penis, then I am amazed this has even been brought to court, let alone been judged, ending in a $9 million settlement in favour of the the wife. Along with showing her anger towards the mistress, by bringing this case she has publicly announced that her husband is clearly the stupidest man in America! How flattering for him, that should have him running back to her in a matter of days! lol.

Anyway, Vanessa's show was very interesting, and this subject, as always, completely obliterated the rest of the discussion points she was trying to raise. But we know this is always the case! I have never yet been on a show, or listened to a show, that didn't get totally dominated by the subject of infidelity if it was on the topic list. As much as people hate the subject, we all have to agree it stirs up a great deal of passion among those of us affected by it, and from the comments today, it seems it is the majority of the country (and the world) who have an opinion on it. It's always nice to create a healthy debate, and even better to have a mass debate!! Ahem!!

I will post the link to the i-player re-run of the show when its released later. Have a good day everyone x

Alienation of affection.....

Article hitting the press today, in many papers. Thank god we don't work like this in England! :)

Sunday, 21 March 2010

30 dates in 30 days - or more....

I've decided to take on a challenge. I am going to start small but the idea is to build up to 30 dates in 30 days in either May or June this year. It's going to be quite a feat, and I don't even know if it will be possible, especially knowing how unreliable men can be, but I've come to the decision that it will be an interesting opportunity to meet some new people, see how easy or difficult it is to maintain or even organise, and see if, by the end of the month, it either gives me a buzz and makes me want more, or it puts me off dating for life.

The thought of rushing headlong into this without any preparation was truly daunting, so I have decided to build up to it gradually. I'm starting with 7 dates in 7 days. This is not too far from my normal week if it logistically comes together, but I do love my 'me' time so I never fill my time completely. Not having the usual breaks in between could become a problem but I'm game for a laugh and always willing to try new things.

I have decided to blog about my experiences too, and if any of them don't like being blogged about - tough titty :) I'm looking forward to finding out the highs and lows of so many dates and of course I'll be interested to see if I can actually cope with all the attention, preparation, organisation and admin! I could well lose the will to live! :) 30 men in 30 days would be enough to send any woman to her bed sobbing and swearing to be a lesbian or celibate for the rest of her days!

One of the dilemmas I have, which may well be cause for a rethink or an extension or reduction in the figure, is I'm a Serial Mistress. Everyone knows I date married and attached men, and everyone knows married men play happy families from Friday to Sunday evening, so officially that leaves me 4 clear days a week to do with as I please, but I'm not sure how to get around the logistics of the weekend issue. 20 dates in 30 days? Eliminating weekends? 5 dates a week? or 40 dates in 10 weeks? 40 dates in 2 months? 60 dates in 6 months?

I just can't seem to get any number to work as well as 30 in 30, so the Serial Mistress may have to weaken and date a couple of single guys at the weekends, to fill the gap for everyone following me too. Depending on the time constraints I may not be able to blog every last detail every single day, but I will certainly try my best and fill in the gaps at quiet times.

So, I think I'm settled on 30 in 30, so long as my lovely followers don't complain about me resurrecting my single dating options too. Mind you, the majority of the time, my single dates are more entertaining than my attached ones. After all they are usually single for a reason. So instead of it just being 30 married dates in 30 days, its going to be 30 dates in 30 days.

It's starting next week with my 7 dates in 7 days and we'll see how it goes from there. Of course included in my dates either 7 or 30, will be my regular guys. The men I meet won't all be brand new ones, because I can't possibly neglect my current 'friends' :) but maybe you'll get to hear more about them for a change, after all it's time I stepped it up a bit on here and told you how the real life of a Serial Mistress works. It's also time I took this more seriously, and gave you more to help you understand what I do.

So, 7 dates in 7 days will commence next week. And 30 dates in 30 days will happen in about a months time.

If anyone has any suggestions about how I will manage it then I'd love to hear from you. Or, if anyone has a sexy friend I might want to date then give me his number :) Any help will be appreciated! :)

Friday, 12 March 2010

Do you gift wrap your relationship?...

The more I spend time with married men, the more I hear how perfect their relationship looks on the surface to all of those around them. They all hide behind the facade that everything is fine. To look at the smiling beautiful couple you wouldn't imagine that they haven't been intimate for six months, argue constantly, sleep in separate beds, she goes to bed an hour earlier than him every night to avoid any intimacy, while he happily surfs the net for Internet porn to wank over and to catch up on his emails from the dating site he recently joined.

I suppose we only have to look at the recent celebrity affairs and how the public have followed their relationships through the rag mags, seeing them smiling for the cameras, tactile, affectionate and appearing to have the perfect marriage, inseparable until it comes tumbling down around their ears, when their infidelities hit the headlines. Even as recently as today, Mark Owen, of Take That fame, has admitted to a string of affairs while he has been with his lovely wife Emma. They were only married in November, and although he claims they have all been drunken mistakes and one night stands, he has also owned up to a five year relationship with a girl he met at a train station. No one is drunk for five years! But to all those around him, and Tiger Woods, and John Terry, and Ashley Cole and now even Gareth Gates, their relationships were 'perfect'.
With all the parties and get-togethers over the spring and summer on the horizon, with weddings and barbeque's lined up, its the time for us to start gift wrapping the relationships we have. Whether its a new man, or a long term love, or if you're in my shoes and happily single, our relationships are under the spotlight and it can be hard to stick to the truth. I tell friends and family about my spectacular dates, the intelligent, charming, incredible men I meet, the stunning restaurants, hotels and presents I receive, and the nights or weekends away somewhere exotic or breathtaking. I don't tell them about the selfish guys who can't communicate to save their lives, or the men with no manners, who are practically dragging their knuckles behind them. They only hear the amazing side of being single, not about my cursing, having to change a light bulb I can't reach properly, or falling off my ladder while I'm decorating! :)

That's where gift wrapping comes in - dressing up the realities of our relationship for family and friends. Whether its insisting 'Everything's amazing, we're sooooo in love' or exaggerating 'You won't believe what he said to me last night...'. It's a way of controlling the way the outside world views us, and we're all probably guilty of it to some extent.

Relationships are an extension of who we are, so we gift wrap them to keep in control of our self image, so if you catch yourself gushing, or being hyper-critical, of your partner, you could be guilty of gift wrapping. Some light gift wrapping is harmless. Who hasn't exaggerated the pluses and minuses of a new partner just to get some laughs from your friends? Garnishing the truth is a useful way of buying some time while we decide if our date's dodgy kissing technique or string of psycho exes really is going to be a problem. After all we usually blind ourselves to small faults when we first meet someone to give ourselves a chance to go further.

Beyond minor faults, relationship wrapping becomes more complex, and low self esteem can drive the urge to fib. We all know relationships have faults but it can be easier to pretend they are not there - that way friends can't remind us that they exist, and no one can accuse us of being unable to choose a good partner. Extreme relationship wrappers can go into complete denial about the state of their partnership, a move that will slowly damage self-esteem and the relationship.

Women are constantly told that they need to be in a relationship to fit in, so whether they are happy can be less important than simply being hooked up, and not being honest can be a way of silencing doubts, including their own. I have a very judgemental friend who is constantly encouraging me to date single men. She doesn't want to know about anyone unless he is single. She asks where I have been and what I have done, but starts every conversation with 'Is this one single?' When I was recently dating one she was thrilled, she invited me round more, made more effort and wanted to know how things were progressing. She was asking questions she would never ask about my married 'friends'. To be honest it was driving me mad, and I thought it was incredibly shallow and rude of her, but rather than explain when we had split up, I continued the facade, saying that he was working away etc. I don't like lying - or gift wrapping - but I didn't want that smug look spreading across her face again, saying 'She clearly can't keep a man'. She would never understand that I simply went off him, the distance was a pain in the butt and he was dating someone else during the week and I was his weekend entertainment. She would automatically blame me because she thinks every relationship should be perfect like hers. But I know she is more than capable of gift wrapping her own, and I realised this last time I saw them both at her house. Not only did he order her around while he slobbed on the sofa, but he kicked her, hard, in the leg, when she didn't bring him a beer quick enough. It made it perfectly clear that she was hiding as much as everyone else seems to be doing.

Another side of this wrapping is emphasising your partners bad points, as most of the married men I meet do. Initially they sing her praises to some extent, to prove they are 'nice guys'. But before long, in a way almost justifying their infidelity, the wife becomes a screaming banshee with the personality of Attila the Hun. It's almost acceptable that a man can have an affair if his wife is forcing him into it by behaving badly. Even if she isn't, he will insinuate that she is, so the mistress will believe she is 'doing him a favour'.

From a female perspective, emphasising the bad points generates sympathy between women and their friends. Females often bond by complaining. When a woman steps outside this by saying her relationship is going well when everyone around her is complaining, it can throw her friendships out of balance. No one likes a smug married and I'm the first to complain about them, not because my life is bad, but because I wish these women would be more honest about their relationship instead of wrapping it to make a point. On the plus side for a woman, venting about our mans inability to find the dishwasher tablets or our clitoris is a good way to let off steam, have our annoyances vindicated or have a laugh. The only danger is in letting it go too far. Its not good to get so down on him that you cant see the good in him,. And if your friends start agreeing or voicing their own negative opinions of him you may well lose friendships if they say too much.

Gift wrapping a partner for your family is common. Families expectations can be so high we smooth over our partners flaws to give the relationship breathing space. It's better to make sure that's all it is though and you're not ignoring any problems that you don't want to. If you're gift wrapping for friends ask yourself why. Often there's underlying competition or fear of judgement.

One thing we are all prone to do is gift wrapping what goes on between the sheets. An ex of mine was no looker but he was the most incredible lover. With my friends I talked up my exploits in order to justify I was dating someone my shallow friends thought was so lacking in the looks department. On the other hand, the last time I was in love I didn't discuss what we did between the sheets at all. I didn't feel I needed to. I only ever discuss or gift wrap relationships that aren't serious or long lasting. I think when you truly have the right partner you respect yourself and their privacy - and wont feel the need to score points by revealing the amazing things they do with a tin of fruit salad.

While the urge to wrap is about our own insecurities, it has ripple effects on those around us. If you have a huge fight with a lover but you let your friends believe he is perfect, you could find yourself with no one to talk to.

Never let your partner know you're gift wrapping too, it will slowly erode your happiness. Trusting, truthful relationships are healthy. Gift wrapped relationships aren't and the men I meet are a perfect example of that.

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Shame on you....

It's not often I do this, but apart from laughing, I'm absolutely gobsmacked and quite disgusted at the email I have just received.

I have been chatting with a guy I thought was quite interesting, nice profile, fairly attractive but certainly nothing special, and nearby (always a bonus). He hasn't rocked my world, I haven't made that much effort, but he was on the 'potential' list. Naturally I speak to several people while I am online, and receive several emails a day which I always consider, and respond to, politely. But occasionally I will take it further and get to know the guy until something makes me realise he's just not for me.

This one was verging on 'not quite what I'm looking for' but I decided to persevere for another day or so, until I had made my mind up. He asked to see my photograph and I sent it to him. I am not god's gift, so I never assume I'm going to get a 'My god you're gorgeous' email back, but I'm also not a monster so I never expect anyone to run away screaming either. But usually I am either someones type or not. We are all adults, and to be honest most men aren't my type but I am kind enough, and polite enough to say so without hurting them. Honesty is the best policy I feel. But his reply was a first!

I have always felt that sometimes when we chat to guys on the net it feels like we are being interviewed, with the endless questions, What do you do for a living? What are you looking for? What are you expecting? What do you want from a man? What would be your ideal first date?
Do you live alone? Do you have kids? Do you want a fling or more? Do you realise I'm married? etc etc. But his email really did make me realise that, as women on that site, we are definitely applying for the 'job' of mistress!

His reply read:

Thanks. I'm entertaining some other offers at the moment and will let you know.

Once I stopped laughing and shaking my head I decided to let him know I wasn't interested and then I deleted him. I hope his 'other offers' all realise how businesslike he is treating his search for his mistress, or maybe he is shopping for a hooker. Who knows!

My blog... A new start

I genuinely don't believe I've done this blog justice. I've been selective with my postings. I've posted rambling thoughts when I could have told my followers everything that was going on, but because everyone I meet tends to know about the blog I can only be vague about what I post and who I mention because I don't want to embarrass anyone or upset my 'friends'. But for your sake, and mine, I've decided to say 'Sod it' and post whatever I damn well please now!

I have blogged mostly about my feelings, about the attitude mistresses face, infidelity in general and of course if I've been in the press, but I think the real purpose of this blog has been lost. It was meant to be an insight into the life of a Serial Mistress. So, for the sake of all my fans and followers, I will attempt to do exactly that.

I've been negligent over the last few weeks because I've been so caught up in other things. I've also been ill too, which hasn't helped. It has meant that I can write but I don't necessarily have anything of interest to post. I have only been on a few hot dates in the past few weeks. I've seen my male friends but not done anything mind blowing you would all want to read about. I've had fun editing and adding to the book I'm writing, and it's making real progress now. I'm very proud of it, and one day I am sure it will be the dream I hoped it would be, half price in Tescos and in the Amazon sale!! :)

But the time has come to step it up and let you further into the Life of the Serial Mistress. I will of course keep the saucy stuff on the Erotic Mistress blog, I don't want it clouding what is essentially my day to day life, but of course you can't miss out on the good stuff! Remember to add it to your favourites and give me any feedback you may feel necessary, good or bad. Thank you for bearing with me and my blog, and I'm hoping 2010 will be quite a year!

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Illicit Encounters blog....

I'm happy to welcome the girls of Illicit Encounters to the world of blogging, and hope they have as much success with their blog as they have had with the site itself.

I encourage everyone who reads my blog to follow this one too. Interesting reading :)

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Married women....

A great article appeared in the Times this weekend, well worth a read, very well written and an interesting perspective.

Bollocks or not? ....

As seen in the Daily Mail - 2nd March 2010

Why you'd be stupid to cheat on your wife: Unfaithful men have lower IQs, say scientists.


Cheryl Cole has split from cheating husband Ashley, who is unlikely to win Mastermind, according to scientists

Not too clever: Cheryl Cole has split from cheating husband Ashley, who is unlikely to win Mastermind, according to scientists

Deceitful and despicable is one description that wronged wives could apply to their cheating husbands.

Plain stupid is another. For scientists have concluded that men who sleep around are likely to have lower IQs.

It is a finding likely to prove of interest to Cheryl Cole as she contemplates her errant partner Ashley's unfaithful ways.

Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist from the London School of Economics and Political Science, said the smarter a man is, the less likely he is to cheat on his partner.

His theory is based on the assertion that through evolutionary history, men have always been 'mildly polygamous'.

That has changed today, however, and Dr Kanazawa explained that entering a sexually exclusive relationship is an 'evolutionarily novel' development for them.

According to his theory, intelligent people are more likely to adopt what in evolutionary terms are new practices - to become 'more evolved'.

Therefore, in the case of fidelity, men who cannot adapt and end up succumbing to temptation and cheating are likely to be more stupid.

'The theory predicts that more intelligent men are more likely to value sexual exclusivity than less intelligent men,' he explained.

According to his theory, the link between fidelity and intelligence does not apply to women because they have always been expected to be faithful to one mate - even in polygamous societies.

Dr Kanazawa's research, in the journal Social Psychology Quarterly, also claims that intelligent people are less likely to believe in God or hold conservative views.

Analysing the American National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, he found young adults who regarded themselves as 'very liberal' had an average IQ of 106, while those who saw themselves as 'very conservative' had an average IQ of 95.

Tiger Woods practices golf outside his home on February 18, 2010 in Windermere, Florida

FILM... Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969); Paul Newman (1925-2008) pictured as Butch Cassidy

Golfer Tiger Woods is now most famous for his serial philandering, while Paul Newman, who died in 2008, was widely thought of as Hollywood's most faithful husband. Scientists believe Newman's way of life is 'evolutionarily novel'

Dr Kanazawa's theory holds that self-interested, conservative attitudes are primitive in evolutionary terms, while selfless, liberal views are more advanced and linked with intelligence.

Similarly, those who identified themselves as 'not at all religious' had an average IQ of 103, while those who saw themselves as 'very religious' had an average IQ of 97.

According to Dr Kanazawa, that is down to people who are smarter being more open to new ideas.

Those who are less intelligent cling to belief in God, a relic of our evolutionary past, he added.

'Humans are evolutionarily designed to be paranoid and they believe in God because they are paranoid.

'This innate bias towards paranoia served humans well when self-preservation and protection of their families and clans depended on extreme vigilance to all potential dangers.

‘So, more intelligent children are likely to grow up to go against their natural evolutionary tendency to believe in God and they become atheists.